VALENTIMES SHMALUNMTIMES

On the Jukebox: "No More I Love You's" by Annie Lenox
Mood: Meh
Quote: "Gunga Din is not a swatch kind of movie." ~ Sleepless in Seattle
Flair: A Delicious Bass

There are few things I hate more than commericalized holidays. It seems like every holiday these days has gone that route which is a big time bummer. It seems like you can get colored lights to decorate for any special day. I want to know who the Smoe is that buys the blow up stove pipe hat to commemorate President's Day? I'm with Homestar Runner when it comes to the latter quarter of the year - we should just call it Decemberween. It is so annoying when the Christmas trees and holiday accessories show up in stores the week of Halloween.

Valentine's Day is the holiday that annoys me most. As a teenager I always had a boyfriend in February, but I hated the obligatory gift giving that occurred. It was so awkward and often lead to a break up. I didn't want to be given a gift that was given more out of pressure than out of affection. I didn't want the guys I dated to feel that they needed to force themselves into feeling more for me than they might have. I certainly didn't want to trick myself into feeling more for them just because they showed up with flowers, chocolates, and trinkets. I had a hard time believing boys when they suddenly verbalize feelings of love or attachment that just happened to correspond with a holiday designed to market products that enduce or enhance such feelings. I believed they wanted to be in love with the idea of love more than they really wanted to be in with love me.

I've never been into giving gifts - that's not my love language. I have a very difficult time accepting them. I adored my guy friends and enjoyed hanging out with them. Occasionally one would try to redefine our relationship and gifts seemed to signal that. Between the age of 16-18 I was gifted a diamond pendent, a car radio, videos, watches, mix tapes, a jean jacket, CDs, stuffed animals, flowers, and enough chocolates to put me into a diabetic coma. These gifts were all given by different guys and surprisingly, none of the big ticket items were given to me for Valentine's Day and none of the guys who gifted me the above mentioned items ever received more than a 'thanks' or a 'you're such a great friend' for the effort.

I was a cold fish and I can count my fingers (not including thumbs) how many guys I've actually kissed. Those guys did something different - they appealed to my primary love languages of quality time and words of affirmation. If I were the type of person to want a Valentine's gift, I would want something hand made that came from the heart like a love letter. Thus, I am not a fan of prepackaged romance and the silliness that encircles this holiday. I love how at the end of Napoleon Dynamite, he gives Deb a bass that he caught. That's freakin' tender.

My sweetheart gets me and doesn't do Valentine's hoopla. Rest assured that romance is far from dead in our home. He knows that he'll get better results if he brings me flowers in March for no particular reason or takes me to see a chick flick in June. He knows that I'll be delighted by a simple gesture of making his fabulous cheesecake for one of my book club parties. I love that he makes handstamped cards for our anniversary. I adore that he bakes me half a birthday cake just for me. I love when he rubs my back, touches my hair, or slow dances with me in the living room. I love how he looks into my eyes when we're talking. You can't buy that kind of stuff. That tells me that it's real love and affection with genuine thought put into it, not something a jewelry store, confectioneries, and florists were pushing.