Ah, Those Pesky Reset Buttons

On the Jukebox: "In This Diary" by The Ataris
Quote: "Thank you, Mario. But our princess is in another castle!" ~ Toad, Super Mario Bros
Flair: I heart Yorgle & StrongBad

When I was a girl we did not have air bags, cell phones, or 16 bit graphics. Yes, you read that right; we lived in an 8 bit world where you, the character/avatar, were a blinking cursor and your family phone was probably attached to the wall in the kitchen. Yes, I grew up in the stone age of video games but I'll have you know that our 1981 Atari 2600 was the first on the block so I'm totally cool and know my stuff. I played Pac-Man to the point of infinite lives and flipping the level counter back to zero. I know the secret room in Adventure - probably one of the first Easter Eggs ever. Along with this 8 bit awesomeness came the revolutionary concept of a reset button. As other old school gamers, I discovered the hard way that the reset button restarts the game without saving your progress. It is to be used it with caution - sometimes along with reincarnating you it also brings back dragons.

I bring this up because I have recently hit reset on this blog. If you're glancing back into the archives you won't find many posts from the recent few years although the older ones are there. My progress has not been saved, so to speak. I have no written record to show that I attempted to do anything productive with my life or that my video-ninja skills improved. Trust me they have. I am wicked good at Tetris. I will not play Just Dance so don't ask. I know you just want me to do the Smurf, Running Man, and Butterfly and that is not going to happen!

I ran into my friends Yorgle, Grundle, and Rhindle while preparing to return to this blogging adventure. I thought I had killed those guys and dealt with my issues. Curse you reset button! It turns out that the pesky bat took off with my sword leaving me to review dozens of posts saved to the draft section of my blogs. Not a wise idea. Seriously where's Trogdor when you need him? Anyway, I read some stuff that I can't quite bring myself to delete but also can't bring myself to post here. It was hard and sad and shows that I have come a long way and in other ways am still stuck going around in the same silly maze over and over when the enchanted chalice is in a different castle (probably with Princess Peach.) Be warned - I'm coming for you chalice as soon as I find that bat!

My 2015 Theme

On the Jukebox: "(Just like) Starting Over" by John Lennon

Quote: "Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." ~ Saint Francis of Assisi

Flair: Sad But True Confession

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2015! It's rather exciting to say 2015 because that's the year that Marty McFly travels to in the future where there are hover boards and huge TV walls. I still think the 90's were ten years ago so I have a problem wrapping my brain around the idea that we've arrived to the "future" of my high school days. Here's another random fact for you: I never have a problem writing the new year in the date. My problem is that around October of the previous year I find myself already thinking it's that upcoming year and then when New Year's Day rolls around I am more likely to write 2016 instead of 2015. I also do that with my birthday - after I pass the half year mark I round up to the next year which means this year I'm 45 right? No, I used a calculator and have confirmed I'm still 43 for the next few days. 

So it's a new year - time to make revisit and reevaluate resolutions, choose new attainable goals and a new theme. Why a theme? Well, why not? Growing up the Young Women's program always had a cool theme, as did Especially For Youth and every youth and Relief Society conference I ever attended. I know that this is not just a Mormon phenomenon because even birthday parties, Kindergarten classrooms, and conventions have a theme. Maybe it's trendy like those silly mission statements that were all the rage 15 years ago. But personally I like having an area of focus.

My 2013 theme was Phoenix Rising because I felt like I had crashed and burned in 2012 and was ready to be reborn from the ashes a stronger, renewed person. 2012 was a hard year for me and I really struggled with balancing my personal life and the needs of my family. I just couldn't find enough motivation to keep going with things I wanted to do even when those things were fulfilling and important. I realize a lot of it had to do with being burnt out because I wasn't taking enough time for myself and also because it's just so hard to change my entire schedule every 40 days to roll along with my spouse's work schedule. I did much better in 2013 even if many of my goals fell by the wayside in the name of sleep and sanity. Upon evaluation, I proclaimed myself stronger if not entirely renewed. Close enough!

My theme in 2014 was Back to My Roots which included me actually refraining from dyeing my hair. I let my natural colors grow in (boring brown with new silver 'Jesus highlights'.) My focus for the year was getting back to the important things but may have neglected a bit too often like exercising, proper nutrition, developing good habits, and teaching my young daughter by my good example that it is fun to eat veggies. I chose 'Roots' because I wanted to focus on my family history and work on my genealogy. Preserving my ancestors' legacy and my own personal stories is something very close to my heart. I want to leave something behind to give my daughter in case I am deprived of the opportunity to tell her myself. I want her to know who she is. I also want to her to know who I am. That's one of the reasons I have my blogs. 

Which brings me to my theme for 2015: Write on! My focus this year, now that my health is steadily improving, is on getting back to writing. I knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I loved storytelling and tolerated journaling. As I matured I discovered that all writers are not created equal, nor are their works. Above all I wanted my writing to be an influence for good - to lift, inspire, and edify. As much as I wanted to be on the NY Best Seller's list for my amazing and original stories, I feel the need to share my own thoughts in this platform too. 

The question is how can I possibly do both without going crazy? I know it's possible because I blogged nearly every day while I was working on the Ethereal Dreamer series. BUT things were much different then. 1) With my husband deployed in the overseas sandbox I was alone with plenty of time to concentrate on writing. 2) I worked when I wanted to and slept when and as long as I wanted to. I usually went to bed around 2 or 3 in the morning and got up around noon. 3) My house stayed unnaturally clean. 4) I didn't have to work outside of the home, cook a lot of food, or have so many obligations. 5) I didn't have my little daughter. 6) I had a very eager fan club spurring me on. 

I don't want to fail at this again but I also don't want to go easy on myself and do only a weekly post. It allows me to justify not exercising discipline. I have spent the past five years changing my schedules every 40 days which allows a lot of things to be overlooked. I'm going to try harder this year to adopt and adhere to a bit more rigid and rigorous schedule which includes daily writing time. I have plenty of projects to work on so it's just a matter of prioritizing them and the rest of my day. If I am unable to write it is because my higher priorities (namely family) came first. If I don't write when I am able it is because I allowed my priorities to become unaligned and need someone to kick my in the bum. So please be the eager fan club that applies the spurs when necessary. Happy New Year!