It's Not My Week...

On the Jukebox: "Old Fashioned Love Song" by Three Dog Night
Mood: Good!
Quote: "Do you prefer fashion victim or ensemblely challenged?" ~ Clueless
Flair: Late Fee

Once in every generation an idea comes along that is so brilliant it revolutionizes the way we live. Some popular examples include: flushing toilets, sliced bread, remote control, and the Snuggie. Unfortunately, I have not had one of these ideas that can be capitalized on for financial gain. No, I had an idea that I thought would redefine the whole Mars/Venus relationship. I was going to end the battle of the sexes once and for all. I really deserved to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for my work - except it hasn't proved 100% successful.

Perhaps future generations will be able to adapt my ideas because they were too futuristic for our time. It is important to note that as a society we've come leaps in bounds in recognizing the equality of men and women, (equality as in 'equally balanced' not as in 'exactly the same') yet we still have a way to go. There are certain roles that will always be gender specific such as men should always have to kill the bugs and women are in charge of the seashell shaped soaps that collect on the back of the toilet. It is uncertain who made these rules, but there are cave paintings that support that this is a long standing tradition of male breadwinners and female homemakers. I like those roles but our world has changed and the roles needed to be redefined to reflect our changing times.

A few years ago my spouse and I had a major breakthrough. We were both working full time and going to school full time. Our house was suffering from neglect. Try as we might we couldn't keep up on the chores. Part of the problem was that we both suffered from thinking errors. I thought I was supposed to do all the cooking and he was supposed to do all the BBQing. I'll mend the sewing and he'll fix the car and other stuff that gets broken. You can imagine how well that worked out. While there are certain things that seem to fit better for one gender than the other, the rules are not finite. Realizing that was the first step to a brave new world.

We decided to define who's job it was to do certain tasks and then we would split the others. For example: I clean the bathrooms, he cleans the cat box (pregnant ladies aren't supposed to do that.) He brings in the mail and takes out the garbage. I pay the bills and create the budget. He handles the majority of the yard work and I handle the misc. housework like dusting and cleaning windows. We share the responsibility for cooking, menu planning, shopping, along with laundry and vacuuming. We iron our own clothes. When it's my week to cook, it's his week to do the laundry and vacuuming and vice-versa. The person who's week it is to cook must also decide what's for dinner and where to go if we are eating out. We eat out twice a month so that works out well.

You might think we solved the equality problem once and for all. It's close but it's not quite perfect. There are weeks when we have relapses but overall it works for us. Our communication skills and expectations were much improved by this new system except for one pesky thing. There was one unexpected phrase that has crept into our vocabulary that irks me when he uses it and probably drives him crazy when I say it: "It's not my week to cook!"

This phrase is uttered for things unrelated to cooking in order to pass the buck on decision making. Which movie do you want to see? "It's not my week to cook!" Do you want to go to Provo and hang out with my family? "It's not my week to cook!" Would you like to make love tonight? "It's not my week to cook!" Yes, most of the time we say it in jest, but it can get to be pretty darn annoying. Thus the Mars/Venus relationship issues are still alive and well. On the plus side we're well fed and our house won't be condemned anytime soon, I can live with that. Maybe in time we'll figure it out completely, but for now I'd better figure out what exactly is for dinner because excuses aren't very filling.