Preschool Swears

On the Jukebox: "O-o-h Child" by the Five Stair Steps
Mood: Good
Quote: "Never create a masterpiece in the dark." ~ The Wizard of Oz
Flair: Where's the soap?

When I was growing up my parents did not tolerate swear words or sassing in their home. Anyone who had a slip of the tongue was treated to a good soaping. Sometimes if my mother was feeling generous she'd let us pick which bar of soap we wanted to suck. I preferred Ivory because Irish Spring was nasty! While such disciplinary actions may have curbed the traditional naughty four letter words that we picked up around the neighborhood, it had another interesting result: an entirely new language of substitute "bad" words culled from our travels and experiences.
Here are a few examples:

Bee Feathers:
Pronunciation: \ˈbē ˈfe-thərz\
Etymology: Middle English akin to Old High German
Date: 1945
Origin: Grandma Helen Snow
1: an eccentric notion or fancy
2: the light horny epidermal outgrowths that form the external covering of the wings of hymenopterous insects (superfamily Apoidea)that feed on pollen and nectar
3: small things that cause irritation and often instigate larger problems

"Oh bee feathers! That stupid decimal point threw off my calculations again."

Pizza Shoe:
Pronunciation: \ˈpēt-sə ˈshü\
Etymology: Italian, perhaps of Germanic origin;
Date: 1985
1: a shoe made typically of flattened bread dough spread with a savory mixture usually including tomatoes and cheese and often other toppings and baked
2: something resembling an edible shoe in function or placement
3: another's delicious place, function, or viewpoint
Synonym: piece of crap

"My old bike is a pizza shoe, it makes grinding sounds when I pedal!"

Punkluke:
Pronunciation: \ˈpəŋk ˈlük\
Etymology: Latin Lucas
Date: 2000
Origin: Haven Snow
1: a young inexperienced young man who thinks he knows more than he does
2: one who claims to know everything and wield authority without mercy
3: an ignorant bully who refuses to back down and resorts to dirty tricks

"That punkluke pinned me down and dangled a loogie over my face."