The 9-12 Project

On the Jukebox: "God Bless the U.S.A." by Lee Greenwood
Quote: "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government." ~ Edward Abbey
Flair: Example

The 9-12 Project is designed to bring us all back to the place we were on September 12, 2001. The day after America was attacked we were not obsessed with Red States, Blue States, or political parties. We were united as Americans, standing together to protect the values and principles of the greatest nation ever created.

Check out the 9 Principles and 12 Values listed below and see if you agree that this is what is at the core of being truly American.

9 Principles

1. America Is Good.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
God “The propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the external rules of order and right which Heaven itself has ordained.” from George Washington’s first Inaugural address.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
Honesty “I hope that I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider to be the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.” George Washington

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
Marriage/Family “It is in the love of one’s family only that heartfelt happiness is known. By a law of our nature, we cannot be happy without the endearing connections of a family.” Thomas Jefferson

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
Justice “I deem one of the essential principles of our government… equal and exact justice to all men of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political.” Thomas Jefferson

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
Life, Liberty, & The Pursuit of Happiness “Everyone has a natural right to choose that vocation in life which he thinks most likely to give him comfortable subsistence.” Thomas Jefferson

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
Charity “It is not everyone who asketh that deserveth charity; all however, are worth of the inquiry or the deserving may suffer.” George Washington

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
On your right to disagree “In a free and republican government, you cannot restrain the voice of the multitude; every man will speak as he thinks, or more properly without thinking.” George Washington

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
Who works for whom? “I consider the people who constitute a society or a nation as the source of all authority in that nation.” Thomas Jefferson

12 Values
Honesty
Reverence
Hope
Thrift
Humility
Charity
Sincerity
Moderation
Hard Work
Courage
Personal Responsibility
Gratitude

I am Wonder Woman

On the Jukebox: "Wonderwall" by Oasis
Quote: "I wonder wonder wonder who wrote the book of love" ~ the Monotones
Flair: Classy

I am Wonder Woman sans the red boots and starred panties. I wonder about stuff all the time. Naturally it's random stuff but it keeps me up at night. Why is it that I think about such *deep* things right before bed?

Is there another word for synonym? Would it be thesaurus? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Why is the alphabet in that order? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? Is there anything scarier than an open mike poetry reading?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Why does sour cream have an expiration date? If you lick a fly swatter will it kill you?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? If you see an old guy in a sexy grandpa t-shirt should you run?

Is it possible to be totally partial? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Do married people live longer than single people or does it just seem longer?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

And in case you were wondering what it is I wonder about as I wander: I wonder where I parked my darn invisible jet - whose bright idea was it to make it invisible?

Trapezoid Lids

On the Jukebox: "My All" by Mariah Carey
Quote: "There's someone for everyone, even if you need a pick axe, a compass, and night goggles to find them." ~ L.A. Story
Flair: Suave

I have a friend who is exceptional in every way. She's intelligent, beautiful, successful, and virtuous. She is also astonishingly single and at 28 years old, reaching the range of Jane Austen spinsterhood. In her own words she claims she is a trapezoid pot who can't find her lid (this based on the saying that there is a lid for every pot.)

What's good about being lidless? Well, lots of things actually. Let's start with the word lidless - it means watchful or vigilant (as in not closing your eye lids.) Shouldn't we always be on the look out for every good thing? So often we let opportunities pass us by because we have blinders on. Being lidless can also be mind opening.

So what's good about being 28 and single? I can't tell you since I was betrothed in the womb and have been married more than half my life now. But I have some theories. For starters, you have the means and opportunity to travel, the ability to set your own hours, start your own traditions, and not have to consult or compromise with someone before taking action. In additional you have the time to develop into your true self through education and experience. Most of us evolve under the influence of our life partner, just as they adapt themselves to our natures. Imagine being more fully formed and self-aware when you actually meet your future spouse.

How attractive is that? And what sort of person would you attract? Chances are they are also a trapezoid. Or perhaps you are so self-aware that you discover you are not really a trapezoid but a parallelogram or an oval. Or maybe you're not a pot but a pan, wok, or kettle. As for myself, I was never a pan. I've always thought of myself more as a crock pot. Insert witty comments here.

With My Two Hands

On the Jukebox: "Happy Workers" by Tori Amos
Quote: "Love is the closest thing we have to magic." ~ Aquamarine
Flair: Me OCD?

Today I volunteered at the mill in Kaysville. It was a really cool experience. I packed bags of pancake mix and instant mashed potatoes for four hours. It was repetitive work but I liked that I had a rhythm to keep up and that I could let my mind rest. The work went amazingly fast because of the amount of volunteers. In the past few months the mill has been running 24 hours a day because of the huge demand. All the food gets shipped to Welfare Square in SLC and then it gets sent to the Bishop's Storehouse and humanitarian centers all over the world.

I enjoyed being part of the big picture. It is very satisfying to help other people. It brings me a great sense of accomplishment to be involved in such an endeavor. Every General Conference between the sessions the Church airs the World Report Semiannual Church News Program. There is always a segment on our humanitarian efforts. It seems there has been an increased need in the last few years. More fires, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, and floods. Every year I get teary eyed when I see how quickly we are able to assist those in need. We are truly doing the Lord's work for those in both spiritual and temporal need.

All day I have contemplated what great works my small hands have been part of. In the past year I've helped to tie quilts, rock babies, act as a proxy in temple ceremonies, put together hygiene kits, prepare meals and clean homes for those in need. I've typed words meant to inspire, dialed friends who needed a listening ear, written checks for tithing and fast offerings, and folded them in prayer. I hope that my hands are clean and are acceptable instruments for the Lord's work.

A Toast to my Green-eyed Lap Dragon

On the Jukebox: "Carrickfergus" by Orla Fallon
Quote: "Fairyland was never like this!" ~ Finian's Rainbow
Flair: 'Tis the Season

It's St. Patrick's day, a silly holiday that is observed more in the United States than anywhere else. It's basically an excuse for college kids and bored adults to get plastered and act like asses. I often think of a SNL spoof where the words to "Wonderland" are changed to "Nobody here's from Ireland" to mark the fact that the original purpose of the holiday has lost its context.

Do I wear green on St. Patrick's day? Sometimes if that particular shirt is up in my closet rotation. I don't do it consciously. I'm pretty much pinch proof because I've taken RAD training and will give a stranger what-for if he touches my caboose. What do I celebrate on March 17th? My cat's birthday. My Tamsen cat has bright green eyes. I think she might have chose them just for the irony. (She has questionable taste.)

She's the worst dressed calico I've ever seen. Her socks are mismatched which along with the striped tail and opposite ear colors gives her the look of a Harlequin doll. I wanted to call her Harley but she wouldn't have it. So she's my freckled nose, bristle banded, mismatched sock wearing, green eyed lap dragon supreme. She has the loudest purr of any cat I've ever had. We have all sorts of nick names for her based on her quirks. My favorite is her indian name "Thinks-shes-people" This year she's 15. It sort of weirds me out to know if she was a kid she'd be bugging me for a laptop, cell phone, and more allowance. I guess I should be grateful that all she wants is her own helping of 'good stuff' and a few extra kitty cookies.

Good Reads

On the Jukebox: "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne
Quote: "What we lack in brains, we make up for with good intentions." ~ Mom and Dad Save the World
Flair: My Heroine

About a week ago I was at lunch with a few friends and they asked me to recommend books for their kids. Let me just say that I much prefer to read books written for children or young adults because they are much cleaner and less graphic than adult books. I have a few lists on Amazon.com for kids of various ages. Today I thought I'd spotlight the genre of Science Fiction. One of the first sci-fi writers that I read was William Sleator. He has written quite a few series but I preferred his stand alone books and don't particularly care for his more recent work (which is geared to a more mature audience than tweens.) I read Into the Dream when I was in fifth grade. Sleator's early work is not scary or too intense. Here are my favorites by him.

Into The Dream
Paul has a recurring nightmare, about a small boy in awful danger. When he learns that his classmate Francine has it, too, the two of them join forces to solve the mystery and save the boy--before their bad dream becomes a terrifying reality.

Singularity
Sixteen-year-old twins Harry and Barry Krasner stumble across a gateway to another universe, where a distortion in time and space causes a dramatic change in their competitive relationship.

Interstellar Pig
Barney is all set to spend two weeks doing nothing at his parents’ summer house. But then he meets the neighbors, and things start to get interesting. Zena, Manny, and Joe are not your average folks on vacation. In fact, Barney suspects they’re not from Earth at all. Not only are they physically perfect in every way, but they don’t seem to have jobs or permanent addresses, and they are addicted to a strange role-playing game called Interstellar Pig. As Barney finds himself sucked into their bizarre obsession, he begins to wonder if Interstellar Pig is just a game.

The Green Futures of Tycho
When eleven-year-old Tycho discovers that the mysterious egg-shaped object he dug up in his garden is a time travel device, he can’t resist using his newfound power. Soon he is jumping back and forth in time, mostly to play tricks on his bossy older brothers and sister. But every time he uses the device, he notices that things are different when he gets back—and the futures he visits are getting darker and scarier. Then Tycho comes face-to-face with the most terrible thing of all: his grown-up self. Can Tycho prevent the terrible future he sees from coming true?

Is Nothing Sacred?

On the Jukebox: "The Temple Reminds Me" by Janice Kapp Perry
Quote: "Look to the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of your membership." ~ Howard W. Hunter
Flair: The Lord's House

From the Church Newsroom: "Now comes another series of Big Love, and despite earlier assurances from HBO it once again blurs the distinctions between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the show’s fictional non-Mormon characters and their practices. Such things say much more about the insensitivities of writers, producers and TV executives than they say about Latter-day Saints."

There has been much ado lately about the HBO show Big Love. It is a ridiculous show about a man in SLC who practices polygamy and the producers claim this to represent 'the real Mormon people'. The whole Big Love story line is completely implausible. Sunday’s episode shows Barb (played by Jeanne Tripplehorn), who is not a church member in good standing, finding a way into a temple anyhow. Polygamists are not Mormons period. Since their marriages are neither valid nor legal, real Mormons consider the polygamist lifestyle not only illegal but immoral as well. No one doing something illegal and immoral would be allowed inside a temple or allowed to retain Mormon membership.

According to what I read on ChicagoTribune.com, this character is shown going through the veil dressed in temple clothing and performing rituals of covenants. I find this appalling as it is nothing more than an attempt to make the members of the Church look strange and brainwashed. It is offensive - no matter how hard they try to be accurate they cannot duplicate the spirit of the ceremony. They are mocking it, as they mock all religious people. The second thing that this show seeks to do is punish the Church members for exercising their civil rights regarding Proposition 8 in California.

I'm sure the producers hoped to start a big publicity stunt by trying to draw the Church into open conflict by provoking us. If they make light of our most sacred and cherished believes wouldn't we have to stand up and take them on? Of course, that also draws the curious who enjoy cheap titillation and tears at the moral fabric of our society and civilization. For some there is nothing sacred and, if something is called sacred by others they feel a compulsion to drag it through the dirt to destroy it as best they can. Such are HBO's actions in hopes of better ratings and a little retaliation.The irony is that what these people are attempting to do will backfire on them in the end.

President Brigham Young once rightly declared: "Every time you kick ‘Mormonism’ you kick it upstairs; you never kick it downstairs. The Lord Almighty so orders it . . . Every time they persecute and try to overcome this people, they elevate us, weaken their own hands, and strengthen the hands and arms of this people. And every time they undertake to lessen our number, they increase it. And when they try to destroy the faith and virtue of this people, the Lord strengthens the feeble knees, and confirms the wavering in faith and power in God, in light, and intelligence. Righteousness and power with God increase in this people in proportion as the Devil struggles to destroy it. . . . Let us alone, and we will send Elders to the uttermost parts of the Earth, and gather out Israel, wherever they are; and if you persecute us, we will do it the quicker, because we are naturally dull when let alone, and are disposed to take a little sleep, a little slumber, and a little rest. If you let us alone, we will do it a little more leisurely; but if you persecute us, we will sit up nights to preach the Gospel."

A few months ago when the Los Angeles Temple was under siege it actually boosted the efforts of missionaries across the country. The actions of angry protesters did not frighten faithful members away from the Temple. On the worst day when there was an anthrax scare - only one less ordinance was performed than is performed on average. No unhallowed hand will stop the Lord's work! I feel that HBO will be disappointed when their little stunt actually makes people ask real members of the Church about the temple and we can bear our testimonies of the sweet blessings of eternal families.

President Howard W. Hunter said, "Let us be a temple-attending people. Attend the temple as frequently as personal circumstances allow. Keep a picture of a temple in your home that your children may see it. Teach them about the purposes of the House of the Lord. Have them plan from their earliest years to go there and to remain worthy of that blessing."

I love that the Church has posted video explaining the purpose of the temple on the Internet. What may be surprising is that there are members of other religions speaking about our temple. One is the Swedish theologian, Krister Stendahl. He was a New Testament scholar, and a Professor and Dean of Divinity at Harvard University. He often discussed three important rules for religious understanding. These rules have since been recognized for their tremendous insight and application in interfaith dialogue and learning.

They are: 1)When you are trying to understand another religion, you should ask the adherents of that religion and not its enemies. 2)Don’t compare your “best” to their “worst.” 3)Leave room for “holy envy.” In other words, recognize those aspects of other religious traditions that you admire and wish could be reflected in your own.

If only the religion of Hollywood could do the same.

Slacker?

On the Jukebox: "This is Ponderous" by 2NU
Quote: "Whoever wrote this episode should die!" ~ Galaxy Quest
Flair: Tragedy

I've decided to take the day off sort of... I haven't really got much accomplished this week even though I've stayed busy. For example, today I sorted through almost 300 floppy disks - gleaning what was still useful before throwing them away. It took all morning. The A drive is so slow! I'm glad that I don't have use for it any more now that I've taken care of that chore. Whew! The thing is even though I was busy, you can't really see what I accomplished.

That thought pretty much sums up my week. I went to the gym and exercised but you can't tell that either. It's not like the results are instantaneous (wouldn't that be nice?) I did some stuff for my church callings too. Can't tell that either. I cooked, cleaned, got groceries, ran a load of whites, and a load of dishes but so what? It just piles back up the moment your back is turned. I wish I had something to show for my efforts. Some might believe I was a slacker if I didn't record what I accomplished.

That's how it goes. I once saw a joke where a husband comes home from work and finds the house in shambles. He asks his wife why it looks that way. Her reply was, "You know all that stuff I say I do when you're at work? Well I didn't do any of it today!" Yeah, that sums up my week. Amen Sister! It's the same for all of us - whether your job is at home or in an office. Sometimes doing something gives us the appearance of treading water. We're not slackers so much as balance keepers.

Kid Fears

On the Jukebox: "Neverending Story" by Limahl
Quote: "People who have no hope are easy to control, and whoever has the control has the power." ~ The Neverending Story Flair: Quest

Some the most profound truths are hidden in movies and books meant for children. Take for example the my daily quote which comes from an old movie. It sort of reminds me of the tales of woe being spun by the drive by media and government lately. The sad thing is that as adults we often forget these simple childhood truths. We grow old and we become burdened with responsibilities and soon grown up worries weigh us down.

In times like that I long for my kid fears - the scrapping sound that the tree branches made against my windows at night, the cracks in the ceiling, big dogs, pop quizzes, a trip to the dentist, ghosts, wondering if Santa really sees me, the uncertainty of moving to a new place, school bullies, and of course Richard Simmons.

Grown up worries are lame - stuff like making mortgage payments, saving for retirement, earning respect, disappointing or shaming your family, becoming injured, and general health concerns. The thing about fear and worrying is that it is really more reactive than proactive. It drains and diverts energy that could have been better applied to enjoying life.

Some things we learn as children are important to be reminded of on occasion. Like playing is as important as work, facing challenges with courage lessens the effects of hardship. someday we all learn to sleep without the door open or the nightlight on, and anything is possible if you believe in yourself. In other words, our kid hopes can be just as powerful in a positive way and lead to grown up satisfaction. Some of my kid hopes included: always being a good person, that there will be dessert, I will make nice friends, love learning, save my money for important purchases, never have to go without necessities, appreciate what I am given, have fun, get what I want for Christmas, please my parents, deserve love, and make my dreams come true. I'd say I'm a fairly content adult. I have all my kid hopes fulfilled and then some.

Lose 200 lbs This Weekend!

On the Jukebox: "Besame Mucho" by Diana Krall
Quote: "I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." ~ So I Married an Axe Murder
Flair: Kismet

The way I see it there are only two ways to lose 200lbs in one weekend: 1) declutter your home or 2)dump your packrat. May I suggest #1?

I have learned from my personal experience that people hoard things for many different reasons. Take me for example: I hoard cats because Ernest Hemingway once said that one cat just leads to another. I'm up to 3 now! It wasn't until I began my formal training in psychology that I made the connection as to why it is so hard for some of us to let go of stuff. We all recognize that a person that lives in a home where newspapers and magazines are stacked from floor to ceiling is probably mentally ill. It's harder to deal with those who are just clutter challenged.

Some of us hold onto things out of fear. We lived through times of scarcity or heard the stories of the great depression. Some of us are sentimental and can't part with the items because we might loose our memories as well. There are others who never learned to say no to free stuff, good bargains, or hand me downs because it might offend someone. When something has outlived its usefulness it's time to let it go. When you don't need it, again let it go. When it is dated or doesn't reflect who you are, let it go. Repeat after me: LET IT GO! Do not spend good money to store junk. Do not bring junk into your home. Everything you own should serve a purpose. You do not need duplicates of everything.

The only thing I'm guilty of keeping is the beaters to all my mixers that die BUT when we bake sometimes we need 3 sets of beaters to make the batters, mousse fillings, and frostings. This takes up little space in the drawer and saves time on not having to stop and clean the one set of beaters. I'll admit I have been a bit obsessive compulsive in decluttering my house. I grew up in a house that lacked organization - mainly because there were many occupants and not enough storage space. Things were constantly in flux.

As Americans we believe in the pursuit of material possessions. Some of us try to keep up with the Jones. We upgrade our old computers but won't let go of the worthless boat anchors. We get the latest cell phones but keep the old one just in case. We convert our 80's music to MP3s but still have the vinyl or cassettes. Yikes! We need to learn that sometimes less is more. We don't need so much stuff. I own 4 coats of different weights and lengths. I think that's plenty. I helped a friend sort through her coat closet the other day and she had 3-4 times as many. I'm sure the women's shelter will be very grateful to get her donation.

I'll definitely come back to this topic of clutter, excess, and organization again. I was just thinking that spring is around the corner and maybe I could challenge everyone to do some really deep spring cleaning. Start with a clean, clutter free home and then work on letting go of some of your emotional baggage.

Sports Talk (haha)

On the Jukebox: "Breathe Your Name" by Sixpence None the Richer
Quote: "Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." ~ Spaceballs
Flair: In a pickle

So what to talk about today? How about those Dodgers? No? I'm not buying it either... I am so not a sports girl! That is unless you count watching Ballroom dance competitions and the occasional figure skating routine. Sometimes I watch soccer games, but they just make me feel bad about myself. I have no motivation to run back and forth chasing a ball, but those guys are fast, furious, and amazingly agile. I've got to give them props for their athletic abilities.

Now ironically, the girl who hates to watch actual sports games enjoys movies about sports. Especially if it is about underdogs, teamwork, or such. Some of my favorites include: Remember the Titans, The Sandlot, Rudy, The Endless Summer, Field of Dreams, Cinderella Man, The Cutting Edge, Rocky, Ice Castles, A League of Their Own, The Karate Kid, and Bend It Like Beckham. I think that even though these are sports movies they go back to universal themes like having heart, practicing good sportsmanship, and enjoying the game.

I know most people would have a hard time believing this but I used to play sports. I was on a basketball team, a volleyball team, and a softball team. I played on church teams and also on a city league. I never went out for sports in school because I learned quickly that I was not girl jock material. When I played on the Mimosa Mustangs I was the best bench warmer in the league because the coaches never took time to help me get better at throwing or batting. Whatever! I think the worse sport I ever undertook was tennis. I totally lacked the coordination for it. Golf is a close second even though I'm not too bad at miniature golf.

I much preferred to roller skate, swim, and ride my bike to get the exercise I needed. Now I prefer to walk, swim, or use the elliptical. Occasionally I still ride my bike (it's been two years now because I'm too lazy to fill the tires with air.) Someday I will use my workout DVDs again. I feel a bit self-conscious when my cats watch me do the Latin dance workouts. Not to mention the music is terrible! I'd rather do jumping jacks in an elevator than put up with that noise for more than 10 minutes. Maybe that's why the DVDs are called 10 Minute Express Workouts...

Spilt Milk & Cookies

On the Jukebox: "Fall at Your Feet" by Crowded House
Quote: "Leave my elevator alone!" ~ Blast From the Past
Flair: No contest

I hate to admit it but I've sucked down a couple of boxes of Girl Scout cookies in a matter of days. Grant brought back two boxes of Thin Mints when he returned from his recent road trip Saturday night. We shared the first box on Sunday while watching TV. That seemed to curb the terrible craving for a while. Then today I opened the fridge and saw the shiny foil tube of chilled cookies just taunting me. So naturally, I shared that package with Grant to teach the cookies a lesson. Now there is only one tube left.

I am sad because like most good things it won't last. I'm certain it will take a miracle if that package manages not to be devoured before the end of the week. Luckily, Grant made a fabulous cake for one of my friend's birthdays and I brought a few slices back home. It's a stay of execution for the remaining cookies. In my defense I'd like to point out that there are fewer cookies in the box this year - another victim of the economy. Upon reflection I've concluded that it's because these cookies are rare collector's items that I enjoy glutting myself on them. If I could buy them on any shopping trip you can bet that I would eat them about as much as I eat Oreos - which is about once every two years.

Pet Peeve #83 Selling Out

On the Jukebox: "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex
Quote: "For those about to rock, I salute you." ~ School of Rock
Flair: Feed the Chil'rens

Grubble, grubble, grrr... I'm feeling peevish. Why? Because I'm sick and tired of sell-outs. What sort of sell-outs? All of them. Anyone who fits this definition: the compromising of one's integrity, morality and principles in exchange for money, 'success' (however defined) or other personal gain.

Now I understand the difference between personal growth as an artist and conforming in an attempt to increase mass appeal or acceptability to mainstream society. I'm am especially disappointed when I see a young Hollywood rising star who takes the short cut to fame by posing nude or doing a questionable music video or movie. Boo! Even worse is when an LDS person sells-out. I've decided that reality TV game shows are no place for practicing members of the Church - more on that later...

I am hungry for more good examples of positive portrayals of our people in the main stream media. Yes, we get plenty of talented people on shows like American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance but often the good ones become compromised with immodest costumes and questionable lyrics. They gain some success at the cost of credibility. A person who does this, as opposed to continuing along his or her original path, is labelled a sell-out and typically regarded with disgust and immediate loss of respect.

Of the Survivor contestants who claimed to be 'Mormon', Neleh Dennis is the only one that actually acted like a church going member. There were a few other LDS girls but they didn't shine through like Neleh. I think Hollywood has a personal vendetta and only cast gay-X Mormons to be on the show. There was Rafe Judkins on Survivor: Guatemala, Todd Herzog on Survivor: China, and now this season on Survivor: Tocantins we've got this naked guy Tyson Apostol (more like apostatize!) who claims to be a bad ass Mormon - once served an LDS mission but can't seem to keep his clothes on. My latest theory is that that producers are looking for LDS men but the endowed ones won't play the game for obvious reasons....

Katherine Heigl, Jewel, and Amy Adams were all raised Mormon but no longer practice. What does that say about them and the Church? I'm glad to see Julianne Hough from Dancing With the Stars has yet to sell-out. I've read many interviews that she's given and she always credits her good fortune to being a member of the Church and was planning a temple wedding with her fiance before they broke up. It's cool that her brother Derek is also on the program as well as the adorable Chelsea Hightower and rebel Lacy Schwimmer. Maybe they'll have a good influence on her and she'll clean up her act. Although I have to say that success and fame seem to be dulling her brother Benji... the word sell-out comes to mind.

I worry about how easy it is to become a sell-out when the opportunity for fame comes along. There are many successful LDS writers. Something that I've noticed is a trend to start conservative and then move towards the edge. I'm disappointed by this. I like Shannon Hale. She has a real knack for story telling, but I was a bit disappointed by her book Austenland because I knew she was LDS and didn't have to include certain things in it. I didn't expect any of her characters to be LDS but I did expect her to still show us characters with some virtues... And don't get me started on Stephenie Meyer's books! If I ever teeter towards selling out I hope somebody will smack some sense into me. I want to make sure that I am 1) true to my beliefs and am a model example of what it is to be a member of my Church 2) communicate clearly what my core LDS values are 3) stay true to my artistic senses and not pressured to make it more popular. Perhaps I'm lucky that I do what I do for my own enjoyment and not for others.

The Widow's Might

On the Jukebox: "When you Believe" by Michelle Pfeiffer
Quote: "If you can't accept anything in faith, you are doomed to life dominated by doubt." ~ Miracle on 34th Street
Flair: Mighty Mite

There are some people who believe the age of miracles is past. I pity them for they know not the goodness of God unto his children. They do not understand that the Heavens are open and we are encouraged to seek for blessings as well as guidance. They also fail to learn that we are blessed more abundantly for our obedience.

I have been pondering obedience lately, specifically how sometimes in our day and age it becomes easy to justify not fulfilling all that the Lord requires of us. I was watching the Glenn Beck show last week. He had John Huntsman on as his guest and they were discussing the how Obama's new stimulus package enslaves the American people. One thing they brought up was that there are proposed changes to the laws regarding charitable donations so that they will be taxable.

With all the hoopla abounding in California surrounding Prop 8 (same sex marriage rights) there has been grumblings about taking away the LDS Church's tax exempt status because of the amount of money that was pumped into the campaign by its members. These two examples just go to show that Satan is trying to frustrate the works of God. Unfortunately, if such changes were made I believe there are some members who would struggle to pay their tithes and offerings because they wouldn't be deductible. Personally, I think it's silly because it's just giving back to God a pittance of what he has blessed us with. It's not really about money. It's about spiritual and temporal blessings.

Many Church members are suffering through economic strife at the moment. It seems every week I hear of some member of my ward who was laid off, furlowed without pay, or such. These are lean times in more than one sense of the word. However, it is also a season of feasting among the famine. I understand the phrase the windows of Heaven. So what if the door was shut - ie: the job dried up? Rich blessings are poured out daily upon my household because we have been obedient to the law of tithing and the counsel of our Church leaders to give a generous fast offering. You're talking to the woman who once filled her entire freezer and fridge with chicken for less than $25 and who got a fully furnished living room at auction for less than the cost of the couch...

If an accountant were to add up what we made in the last year and then subtract our financial obligations (house payment, student loans, car payments, cost of daily living...) they would discover the mystery of what I call Celestial math. How can a household that brings in practically nothing be sustained without going into debt or turning to others for help? To a regular accountant this will not add up. When we had our taxes prepared the person assisting us noted that our donations were equal to my yearly paycheck and that I essentially worked for my Church. My response was, "Isn't it great?" because I understand how faith works.

Just because times are hard does not mean I am going to quit giving a fast offering. My tithing check has dwindled (it's still ten percent of what we earn) but my fast offering is still what would be deemed 'very generous' because I know that we are blessed according to our faith and obedience. This is not a new principle, the Liahona which directed Lehi and his family worked the same way. We have many examples of of faith and works in the scriptures. I prefer to liken the scriptures to myself and learn (prove) for myself the truths therein.

I was discussing this with a good friend this week. She also echoed that faith without works is dead. Exercising our faith is important because like our physical muscles our spiritual ones can also atrophy unless we use them. We both agreed that we would rather be the ones giving to the Church than receiving from it and that by exercising the Widow's might we will keep from being in the situation of relying on anyone other than our Heavenly Father for assistance. My point is that even when we have little to offer we should give it freely and with perfect faith.

I love the painting "The Widow's Mite" by James C. Christensen. I used it for the piece of flair. I read an interview with the artist regarding the piece. Christensen tells us, "And Jesus and His disciples watched, the town's rich men made an ostentatious show of putting their gold and silver in the Temple treasury. They watched, judging each other and proudly displaying their own grandiose offerings. It was a show of reverence instead of the real thing. Then, into their midst walked a poor widow. She came simply and without fanfare, unaware of the impression she made. While the rich men looked in disdain at her pittance — she hadn't even troubled to carry the coins side by side to increase their gleam — Jesus understood that this poor woman's small gift was of a magnitude unattainable by mere wealth.

"I pictured this widow as young," says James Christensen. "Suppose she had children? If so, her gift was greater still. But she didn't think of how large or small her gift was. She merely gave what she had. I wanted to show that purity of thought and action. In The Widow's Mite, the lights and shadows are symbolic of spiritual and worldly power. The woman glows with an inner light. By contrast, the rich, bejeweled city fathers are in the dark. Even the widow's clothing, though ragged, glows with a celestial light. The point here is not money, it's what we are willing to give of ourselves."

Best Time-Wasters on the Internet (next to You Tube)

On the Jukebox: "Happy Together" by The Turtles
Quote: "Do you have any leadership experience?" "I had an ant farm once." ~ Ernest Goes to Camp
Flair: Yet another reason to celebrate

A Blog, short for web log, is an online journal of sorts. It can be serious and contain educational research or it can be any manner of randomness. The first Blog I ever followed was "Redneck Neighbor" which chronicled the misadventures of a homeowner in a new neighborhood who sees his property value sharply decline when Joe moves in next door. Check it out! http://www.joespc.com/carlos/redneck.htm I love the photographs of the ongoing home 'improvement' projects. The owner of this blog took it down for about 5 years but I recently noticed that it's back. I guess he was trying to spare his idiot neighbor.

Another Blog I enjoyed is "For Sale by Mental Patient" I think everyone needs a fine toothcrafted coffee mug - nothings says sophisticated in quite the same way. Check it out! http://home.total.net/~fishnet/ I personally bid on Ludwig Beethoven but someone else bid three twisty ties and won it.

Others sites that are creative and fun to check out on occasion are.

http://askaninja.com/
www.homestarrunner.com/
http://www.i-am-bored.com/
www.hoopsandyoyo.com/



Naturally I feel my Blog is among the best ways to waste time on the Internet but you have to have variety...

Epiphany # 369

On the Jukebox: "That Thing You Do" by the Wonders
Quote: "It's okay, I got some cool cheese." ~ Lizzie McGuire Movie
Flair: Patience

Have you ever tried to enlighten someone who was not mentally capable of grasping your brilliant idea? Welcome to my world. Until a couple of years ago I labored under the false belief that I was of average intelligence and that most people were blessed with an equal share of common sense and critical thinking skills. I chalked it up to laziness or lack of priorities when others failed to get good grades or get their work done on time. It seemed so straight forward to me - a no brainer if you will.

Fast forward to my college years and a new concept starts to take focus: I am a genius and most people are idiots. This was an eye opening revelation for me. I suddenly realized that what I took for granted was difficult for others to comprehend. This included things both academic and spiritual. I suddenly realized that I was suppose to help these people. I tried to do this simply by example but they weren't paying attention. It's sort of like Plato's cave. They were content with shadows and never turned around to see the source of the light and movement. I am a Prometheus bring fire to the mortals. Maybe that's why I enjoy the Prometheus and Bob series so much.

I've had plenty of misadventures in trying to educate others. I have a young acquaintance who is a stripper with no sense of cultural beauty. She had a school assignment to analyze poetry. I tried to help her out with that but she couldn't progress past dirty limericks to the sublime joys of Cummings, Frost, Keats, Tennyson, or Wordsworth. I've had similar experiences with young women (when I was a leader) as I tried to expose them to Mozart, Enya, and Amiche. I have a friend who constantly seeks my advice on relationships and other life matters but never applies the wisdom I impart. She's simply not capable of learning from her mistakes and continually repeats them. A former male coworker was pretty much the same, but he at least pretended to do the counseling homework assignments I gave him.

There's a lesson to be learned from all of this. One for you and one for me. First, if you ask my opinion on what color to paint your walls be prepared to at least consider it with an open mind. I've had some training in that area. In return I'll prepare myself to give you another dozen options and expect you to reject them all... Second, I'll prepare myself to continue to answer every question that you're too lazy to research or learn about for yourself. In return I'll exact my revenge by refusing to be your lifeline when you're on a trivia gameshow. If I wanted the world to know how much I know I'd probably go on one of those shows myself!

Watch more Dailymotion videos on AOL Video

The Echoes of Stories Never Told

On the Jukebox: "I Have Dreamed" by Matt Monroe
Quote: "Toe Pick!" ~ The Cutting Edge
Flair: 6th Sense

The curse of being a writer is that one is simultaneously sane and crazy all at once. I identified with the little boy, Cole, in the movie "The Sixth Sense" because I understand what it's like to see and hear people that aren't there for others. He saw dead people and I see fictional ones.

I am so well acquainted with various characters that I've created that I can carry on complete conversations with them inside my head. Often times these are interviews aimed at getting to the heart of their motivations but just as frequently, I find I visit with them because I like them and find them interesting. I won't excuse their weaknesses or rude manners, but I try to overlook them. I also try to overlook the fact that they often wake me up in the middle of the night and deprive me of sleep.

Like Cole, I've discovered the way to get ghosts or fictional characters to leave you alone is to find out what they want. My head echoes with the stories never told. Only when I write them down do I find peace. Until words are on paper these characters haven't lived. It's like being a ghost in reverse. I am a speaker for the not yet living that will breath life into their pages and then send them to haunt others. It's a pretty good life.

Calling in Sick

On the Jukebox: "He's so Fine" by the Chiffons
Quote: "Long ago, the delicate tangles of his hair... covered the emptiness of my hand." ~ Joe Versus the Volcano
Flair: Medieval Madness*

I've been fighting a cold for the past few days now. At one point I thought I was winning but now it has spread to my lungs. Boo! I don't need an excuse to slow down at the moment. I already take plenty of naps but being sick is sapping all my energy. I am quite put out! I hate lagging behind the power curve and that's where I've been for the past week or so. Fortunately my house looks all right but my writing projects are piling up. I need to get the RS B-day script done soon. I wish I had some motivation but the drugs make me too groggy to think clearly.

You might think that being self employed would make it easier to call in sick. Au contraire, mon frère... my boss is a task master who expects 100% all of the time. I am way too hard of myself which probably contributes to feeling worn down. I understand that no one can be 'go go go' all the time but I like my work and normally enjoy it. Being sick and stuck in bed when you enjoy your work is a lot like having your leg in traction during the first few weeks of summer vacation when all your friends are taking swim lessons. Not fun. Now who's going to bring me some chicken soup and ice cream?

*Malt ice cream with chunks of Three Musketeers candy bars, chocolate chips and marshmallows

Dance of Joy

On the Jukebox: "Last Dance" by Donna Summer
Quote: "I have a message for you from the future!" ~ Dexter's Laboratory
Flair: Fuzzums?

"Dance like no body's watching...." Ha! Not likely. That's how poor suckers like the Star Wars Kid end up on You Tube. I really enjoy dancing, but there is no way that I'm ever going to exhibit my lack of talent in public (again.) I have photographic proof that I'll never be the prima ballerina I thought I was. In every picture from my first recital I'm doing my own thing while all the other girls are in unison.

This has become a metaphor for my entire life. I dance to the beat of my percussion section. I'll always be slightly out of step with what is popular. My tempo is too fast for some and more often too slow for most. I like to do things my own way even if it's not the most aesthetically pleasing alternative.

I took ballet from the time I was five until about a year after I got married. That's a total of 16 years of practicing an art form that I never excelled at. Why did I do it? 1) I really wanted a tiara and a tutu 2) I wanted to be graceful 3) I was developing an appreciation for those who possessed this talent and made it seem effortless.

I quit tap dancing after a couple of years. My dad would jokingly say he'd seen better steps on a ladder. I was born without rhythm but that's okay. I got an abundance of wit and words to make up for it. Yet, I continued to dance all of my youth. Again the obvious question was why? The answer was just as obvious: It made me happy. To move my body and express pent up emotions to a syncopated rhythm made sense to me. I still do it but only when I'm sure no one is watching besides me cats, who are thoroughly entertained.

Did you ever see the movie "Hitch"? Hapless and hopeless romantic Albert is my definitely my kind of dance partner. He exhibits his best moves for Hitch. "Do the Q-tip! Q-tip! Now throw it away! Now what am I doing? I'm makin' a pizza!" I laughed myself silly because I have goofy names for my dance moves too. They go something like this, "Burp the baby, dig a grave, watch it buddy - I'm gliding here, mix cake batter, sexy seductress, do the washing machine, disco duck, stomp out that fire, super model strut, walk like an Egyptian, karate cat, groovy grapevine - now gossip!, robot hoe down, Sailor Moon, beehive bop, dying swan, ants in my pants, drunken Ginger, and always end with the perfect cheer!" Who doesn't want to see that???

Semantics... on the rocks please

On the Jukebox: "Red Red Wine" by UB40
Quote: "I wish I was as weird as you!" ~ Lady in White
Flair: Let's be honest...

Let's indulge briefly into the double meaning of some words:

Intoxicating:
1: heady: extremely exciting as if by alcohol or a narcotic
2: poisonous

Intoxicated:
1: stupefied by a chemical substance (especially alcohol)to the point where physical and mental control is markedly diminished b: to excite or elate to the point of enthusiasm or frenzy.

I'm all for an interesting compliment such as is found in the movie, "Lady in White" as quoted above or in the lyrics of the Gillespie song, "You Go to My Head":

You go to my head and you linger like a haunting refrain
And I find you spinning 'round in my brain
Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne
You go to my head like a sip of sparkling Burgundy brew
And I find the very mention of you
Like the kicker in a julep or two
You go to my head with a smile that makes my temperature rise
Like a summer with a thousand Julys
You intoxicate my soul with your eyes

Such comparison of my womanly wiles to an alcoholic beverage is acceptable since it is poetic and not literal. No woman wants to hear "My gal is a Babeweiser!" It's not poetic, it's just stupid. In fact, drunken people should refrain from making poetic comparisons of any kind. I do not make it a practice to hang out with inebriated people who try to sweet talk others, but occasionally I have no choice. Such is the tale of Mojito Pete O.

Last June my husband, UT-BFF Bertha, and I were flying home from our trip to North Carolina. We had lots of excitement. Planes with mechanical problems, cancelled flights, delayed flights, and long lines waiting for hotel room vouchers. On a packed flight to Denver (which wasn't on our original itinerary) we encountered a man that should be a regular feature on SNL.

Bertha and I discovered that he had the seat right in between ours. He was busy putting his stuff into the over head bin but it kept falling out and that made him laugh... a lot. We asked if he would be so kind as to trade with one of us. It became instantly clear that this man was three sheets to the wind. First he offered us each a stick of Orbit Mojito gum to combat our 'airplane breath.' Okay... then before the plane took off he called the flight attendant twice for spirits which she refused to give him. He tried to talk with us for a while but couldn't hold onto a train of thought. He put his i-Pod on and rocked out but again couldn't remember what song he was listening to.

Later, between naps or blackouts, he tried to get served more rum. I believe he summoned the attendant a total of 8 times. When she refused to give him more than the 2 bottles because of the law he got unpleasant and threatened to sue. She threatened him with the sky marshall and he backed down. Later he tried another tactic, flattery. To this day I think it's one of the funniest things I've heard because nobody in his right mind what have said it. This poor lady brought some back up with her to firmly tell him that he could not have any more to drink. When she said no, his response was, "But your face is so rectangular." You have to imagine this as though Daffy Duck said it with a drunken lisp.

So kids, my thought is be intoxicating not intoxicated. The way you choose to use your words will make others believe that you are enchanting or that you are a drunken ass, and the only person who can get away with being both is Bottom the weaver in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream.

The Beauty of a Deeper Meaning

On the Jukebox: "What I Need" by Katie Thompson
Quote: "There is a connection between heaven and earth. Finding that connection gives meaning to everything, including death. Losing that connection makes everything lose meaning, including life." ~ The Other Side of Heaven
Flair: Integrity

Sometimes it amazes me how the simple things that we take for granted have a deeper meaning. Most of the time I am too busy to pay attention to life rushing past me and lose the glimpse of something profound. I have long admired the works of William Wordsworth because he has captured in the language of men what we see and know with our hearts, but what our minds so often forget. As we take time to smell the roses, watch a sunrise, or let the wind through the trees sing to us, we are reconnected with the eternal truth that nature bears witness of: God is love and we are his most miraculous creation of all... and that makes us beautiful.

Excerpts from: INTIMATIONS OF IMMORTALITY FROM RECOLLECTIONS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD by W.Wordsworth 1886

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

And O, ye Fountains, Meadows, Hills, and Groves,
Forebode not any severing of our loves!
Yet in my heart of hearts I feel your might;
I only have relinquished one delight
To live beneath your more habitual sway.
I love the Brooks which down their channels fret,
Even more than when I tripped lightly as they;
The innocent brightness of a new-born Day
Is lovely yet;
The Clouds that gather round the setting sun
Do take a sober colouring from an eye
That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality;
Another race hath been, and other palms are won.
Thanks to the human heart by which we live,
Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,
To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.