Cartoons - the best brain rotter of all time!

On the Jukebox: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba
Mood: Okay
Quote: "Remember how I used to call you 'lamb chop'? And then you would call me 'liver snap'?" ~ Cats and Dogs
Flair: Marc Anthony and Pussyfoot

When I was a kid I loved Saturday mornings because it was the one day of the week when there were cartoons on TV for hours. Kids these days are so spoiled! There are entire networks devoted to cartoons. There are cartoons in prime time and cartoons made for toddlers (Little Bear) and some made just for adults (SpaceGhost, Flintstones, and Futurama). Most cartoons are still nothing more than thinly disguised toy advertisements. About once a year a full length feature film would come out that was animated. That was a big deal in my family. It seems like some kid movie comes out every month and at least half of them are not live action. But are these cartoons good for us?

Unfortunately, not many of these cartoons have a good influence on children. My family was not allowed to watch Looney Toons when we were growing up because as small children my brother Josh, hit me over the head with my dad's guitar. He was imitating Speedy Gonzales. I still remember it so clearly. My mother said, "Monkey see, monkey do, no more Looney Toons for you!" It was also cartoons that taught us to call each other stupid names. To say the least, my mother was not a fan and limited our time and content.

On weekdays we watched Inspector Gadget, GI Joe, Voltron, and He-Man. On Saturdays, it was Smurfs, Kidd Video, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Scooby Doo, Carebears, The Getalong Gang, Transformers, and more. The 90's brought new classics such as Recess, Sailor Moon, Doug, Yugi-O, Power Puff Girls, Animaniacs, Johnny Bravo, X-Men, Hey Arnold, Rugrats, The Simpsons, 2 Stupid Dogs,and Dexter's Laboratory. This decade I'm a fan of Phineas and Ferb, Sponge Bob,and Dave the Barbarian.

Why am I telling you this? It explains a lot about my warped sense of humor and cocked eyed outlook on life. It also shows that I prefer the simpler times of childhood. I don't cringe nearly as much when watching program rated Y7 as I do when I watch other Television programs. Besides - even shows meant for really young kids have jokes that are a nod to the parents who are watching with their kids. I like getting the inside jokes.

PS: My favorite Merrie Melody of all time is "Feed the Kitty" starring Marc Antony and Pussyfoot.

The Circle of Life

On the Jukebox: "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al
Mood: Groovy
Quote: "It has been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time from my fourth-grade paper." ~ Legally Blonde
Flair: Rochambeau

Paul Hawken said, "Everything is connected... no one thing can change by itself."

Is that true? I haven't been able to decide. I will agree that there is a certain order in the universe and that the laws of nature are finite. However, I believe that a single human can undergo change that need not involve or impact on a colony of fire ants in Zimbabwe. I also believe that removing cows (which supposedly cause global warming by emitting high levels of carbon monoxide) from the circle of life would have the same devastating result as introducing kudzu was to the southern states.

I'm not saying that campaigning for environmental awareness is bad. I'm saying that those who take up such a cause should educate themselves thoroughly on facts not political dogma. It's hard to stand in the way of progress, but so many activists try anyway. It infuriated me to learn that protesters halted the construction of the Luling Bridge/ Interstate 310 off ramp because of some supposedly "endangered" frog. (Why are these new, endangered, or exclusive species always discovered near human infrastructure projects and not some remote jungle?) The bridge was complete but the exit would traverse the frog's swampy home. It took almost ten years for the state to do a study and complete that two mile section of road. What was the result? The frog was thriving because the road improved the resources of the marsh area and now the frog was considered as plentiful and bothersome as the Biblical plague.

I understand that the universe is made up of the same molecular matter; tiny neutrons, quarks, leptons, and such. I understand that the energy and life force that powers each of us is from God. I can see the spiritual connection between all of His creations. In that aspect I am willing to admit a connection between everything. Yet, I believe that as individuals we were given agency. No one and nothing can force us to change. It is a decision we must come to on our own. There are influencing factors, but it is ultimately up to us to decide the outcome of such forces. Does witnessing injustice cause us to become callous and cruel or do we become a crusader or do we continue to lead our same quiet lives? The choice is entirely ours. Since I have a busy day ahead of me I'm going to leave this thought unfinished and visit it again another time.

I took a walk alone last night
I looked up at the stars
To try and find an answer in my life
I chose a star for me
I chose a star for him
I chose two stars for my kids and one star for my wife
Something made me smile
Something seemed to ease the pain
Something about the universe and how it's all connected
~ Sting

Channeling the Muse

On the Jukebox: "My Immortal" by Evanescence
Mood: Amused
Quote: "It's bad to be dewy-eyed around smart people, but you can always secretly despise them." ~ Cold Comfort Farm
Flair: Princess Peach

Where does inspiration come from? Everywhere!

Last night my friend Kim B. came over for hot cocoa and conversation. She asked me about my other writing projects that I haven't allowed her to read (yet.) I summed up my Amiya series for her. I told her that often times I like to start with a familiar structure and build upon it, then I shared some of the things that have inspired my stories. I once read that there are only 10 stories in the world and that all stories are some form of one of those stories. I don't know if I entirely believe that or not, but there sure are a lot of Cinderella stories aren't there?

Shakespeare based Romeo and Juliet off of an older poem called Pyramus and Thisbe. The musical Westside Story is a updated retelling of the same tale. Pushing Daisies is a retelling of Sleeping Beauty with a modern twist. The Norwegian fairy tale East of the Sun and West of the Moon is a Christianized retelling of the Roman myth of Cupid and Psyche. Pintosmalto is an Italian version of the story and most of us are most familiar with the French version known as Beauty and the Beast and it's numerous retellings.

The basic theme of this particular tale is: Man sells daughter to mysterious 'beast' who treats her kindly and eventually wins her love. An interloper comes along and ruins the breaking of the curse or causes additional obstacles before the happy resolution. Pretty basic stuff - it's not plagiarizing to start with an archetype and then branch out. There aren't many new ideas out there but there are plenty of ways to adapt and update universal themes. It is interesting to note that the retelling of this particular tale evolved over a thousand years into it's most recent Disney incarnation.

My Amiya series would be classified as YA Fantasy-Romance (ages 12 and up) aka fairy tales. It's a collection of love stories set in a idyllic kingdom filled with intrigue and valor. I chose the poem "The Sailing of the Sword" by William Morris as a starting point for one of the love stories. Another is based on a mix of "Taming of the Shrew" and "King Thrushbeard" (same archetype)and yet another is based on the song "When We Dance" by Sting. I can't help it. I read things, hear things, and see things and immediately it becomes part of my subconscious stream.

The Sailing of the Sword

Across the empty garden-beds,
When the Sword went out to sea.
I scarcely saw my sisters' heads
Bow'd each beside a tree.
I could not see the castle leads,
When the Sword went out to sea.

Alicia wore a scarlet gown,
When the Sword went out to sea.
But Ursula's was russet brown:
For the mist we could not see
The scarlet roofs of the good town,
When the Sword went out to sea.

Green holly in Alicia's hand,
When the Sword went out to sea,
With sere oak-leaves did Ursula stand;
O! yet alas for me!
I did but bear a peel'd white wand,
When the Sword went out to sea.

O, russet brown and scarlet bright,
When the Sword went out to sea,
My sisters wore; I wore but white;
Red, brown, and white, are three;
Three damsels; each had a knight,
When the Sword went out to sea.

Sir Robert shouted loud, and said,
When the Sword went out to sea,
`Alicia, while I see thy head,
What shall I bring for thee?'
`O, my sweet Lord, a ruby red:'
When the Sword went out to sea.

Sir Miles said, while the sails hung down,
When the Sword went out to sea,
`Oh, Ursula! while I see the town,
What shall I bring for thee?'
`Dear knight, bring back a falcon brown:'
When the Sword went out to sea.

But my Roland, no word he said
When the Sword went out to sea;
But only turn'd away his head,---
A quick shriek came from me:
`Come back, dear lord, to your white maid!'---
The Sword went out to sea.

The hot sun bit the garden-beds,
When the Sword came back from sea;
Beneath an apple-tree our heads
Stretch'd out toward the sea;
Grey gleam'd the thirsty castle-leads,
When the Sword came back from sea.

Lord Robert brought a ruby red,
When the Sword came back from sea;
He kiss'd Alicia on the head:
`I am come back to thee;
'Tis time, sweet love, that we were wed,
Now the Sword is back from sea!'

Sir Miles he bore a falcon brown,
When the Sword came back from sea;
His arms went round tall Ursula's gown,---
`What joy, O love, but thee?
Let us be wed in the good town,
Now the Sword is back from sea!'

My heart grew sick, no more afraid,
When the Sword came back from sea;
Upon the deck a tall white maid
Sat on Lord Roland's knee;
His chin was press'd upon her head,
When the Sword came back from sea!

Doesn't that make you wonder what sort of love story I made up for the third sister who narrated this tragic poem? Did Sir Roland love her or not? Was he too afraid to voice his true feelings? Why didn't he ask her what she wanted? Who was that lady with him when he returned? What did the third sister, who I named Bronwyn, think about while the Sword was away? What were the individual personalities of the three sisters and their knights? Where did the Sword sail to? How long was it gone? Were any of the sisters tempted by new suitors?

Did you notice the second and last line of each stanza are the same? It gives the feeling of ocean waves crashing on the shore. The story I wanted to tell also has the feel of the repetitive rhythm - the girls walk every day and watch for the Sword's return. Bronwyn records her thoughts in her journal every day. There are set habits that give the story a feeling of rhythm. Of course there has to be more to the story than William Morris eluded to in his poem and I feel inspired to tell it.

Mr. Write

On the Jukebox: "At the Beginning" by Donna Lewis & Richard Marx
Mood: Excited
Quote:"One girl is worth more than twenty boys!" ~ Peter and Wendy
Flair: Modesty

Today is shaping up to be a great day. Grant is out of town and that means I will be spending my time down in the basement enjoying some uninterrupted writing time. Don't get me wrong: I adore my husband and desire his company, but there are times when I can be more efficient if there aren't any tempting distractions. Not to mention that I can skip cooking and go to bed around 2:30 AM if I am in the zone. I expect to crank out some good stuff very quickly. Yay me!

At the moment I'm working on the urban fantasy romance series Ethereal Dreamer. I've spent quite a bit of time crafting strong male characters that each have their own unique attractive qualities. While all my test readers confess to developing crushes on my guys, there are some of my readers who swoon over the handsome professor Simon Peter while others who prefer the clever wisecracking Alex or the spiritual Moroni, or the gallant Stanislaw, or the guy next door Dominic, or even the dreamy and mysterious Endymion. (Sadly, adorkabale Fisher has very few fans even though he's a nice guy...)

I'm proud that each character has a distinctly different personality and that it's hard to decide which one to root for. I'm often asked which of these men is based on my husband and whether any of the others are based on other men I know. The answer is, "None of the above and all of the above." These are fictional characters and even though they have hints of realism to them if you fall in love with the men from my book then you may have unrealistic expectations about romance and marriage. Sorry!

Simon Peter may have Grant's coloring but that's about it. Grant is more like Alex/Moroni in his personality and sense of humor except maybe not quite as outgoing. Grant's not likely to spout flowery prose, sing duets, or put up with Jerusha's shenanigans but he does like Simon's car. Dominic and Fisher (who aren't primary love interests) are based on my brothers and guys I used to date. I drew from the qualities I admired and the pet peeves that irritated me. Endymion is what my dream guy would be like - fun in fantasy but probably really irritating in real life.

Jerusha's father Darris Reniholdt, is probably my favorite and most realistic male in the series. He's based on what I think the ideal mature male would be like. I took things I admired about my own father and my father in law, my friends' dads, bishops, and bosses and mixed them into the the perfect patriarch. He's a handsome dad with graying temples and more laugh lines than worry lines. He's intelligent, prayerful, considerate, deeply in love with his wife, devoted to his family, enjoys his profession, and appreciates the natural beauty around him. I often claim that the character most like myself is Darris's wife Tamsin so that should tell you something too.

Preschool Swears

On the Jukebox: "O-o-h Child" by the Five Stair Steps
Mood: Good
Quote: "Never create a masterpiece in the dark." ~ The Wizard of Oz
Flair: Where's the soap?

When I was growing up my parents did not tolerate swear words or sassing in their home. Anyone who had a slip of the tongue was treated to a good soaping. Sometimes if my mother was feeling generous she'd let us pick which bar of soap we wanted to suck. I preferred Ivory because Irish Spring was nasty! While such disciplinary actions may have curbed the traditional naughty four letter words that we picked up around the neighborhood, it had another interesting result: an entirely new language of substitute "bad" words culled from our travels and experiences.
Here are a few examples:

Bee Feathers:
Pronunciation: \ˈbē ˈfe-thərz\
Etymology: Middle English akin to Old High German
Date: 1945
Origin: Grandma Helen Snow
1: an eccentric notion or fancy
2: the light horny epidermal outgrowths that form the external covering of the wings of hymenopterous insects (superfamily Apoidea)that feed on pollen and nectar
3: small things that cause irritation and often instigate larger problems

"Oh bee feathers! That stupid decimal point threw off my calculations again."

Pizza Shoe:
Pronunciation: \ˈpēt-sə ˈshü\
Etymology: Italian, perhaps of Germanic origin;
Date: 1985
1: a shoe made typically of flattened bread dough spread with a savory mixture usually including tomatoes and cheese and often other toppings and baked
2: something resembling an edible shoe in function or placement
3: another's delicious place, function, or viewpoint
Synonym: piece of crap

"My old bike is a pizza shoe, it makes grinding sounds when I pedal!"

Punkluke:
Pronunciation: \ˈpəŋk ˈlük\
Etymology: Latin Lucas
Date: 2000
Origin: Haven Snow
1: a young inexperienced young man who thinks he knows more than he does
2: one who claims to know everything and wield authority without mercy
3: an ignorant bully who refuses to back down and resorts to dirty tricks

"That punkluke pinned me down and dangled a loogie over my face."

My "Much To Do About Something" List

On the Jukebox: "Forever Your Girl" by Paula Abdul
Mood: Okay
Quote: "I wish the goblins would come and take you away!" ~ Labyrinth
Flair: Today while the sun shines

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a list maker. I wish I could say I get to cross everything off my list in a timely manner but I usually don't. I do find that I get more done if it is written down and that's why I've composed a list of stuff I ought to get done this week if I can cram it all in. Realistically, I'll probably get about half the stuff done. I like to throw a few easy things on the list to help me get started. It helps keep me motivated. It also helps remind me when I need to work on a particular personality trait. I've learned that I don't take time for myself unless I schedule it - thus there are a few things on my weekly list to make sure I am nice to myself as well as to others.

1) Enjoy the lemony fresh scent of recently cleaned bathrooms

2) Order Adobe CS4 for Tracy

3) Finish Visiting Teaching (appointments on Mon and Thurs)

4) Get house appraised (decide what to ask if we sell)

5) Run the Spotbot

6) Check on Tricare Reserves

7) Write tithing/fast offering check

8) Count blessings

9) Show Grant that I appreciate him

10) Be kind to Tamsen even though she's on the naughty list

11) Schedule a bowling party for primary class

12) Make new Zune playlist for working out

13) Check on Jennie and see if she needs help with her move this weekend

14) Write a bazillion pages in ED2

15) Help Grant get all his paper work together for new unit

16) Scan youth group pictures for Facebook friends

17) Go to the gym every other day with Grant and/or Kim

18) Prepare decorating/organization plans and budget for Melissa

19) Treat myself to a yummy marshmallow mint brownie from Cutler's

20) Arrange a luncheon with UOP friends

21) Plan a ED test readers get together

22) Start scrounging boxes

23) Wipe down the fridge (inside and out)

24) Clean out cold storage

25) Watch Masterpiece Oliver Twist

26) Attend RS Enrichment planning meeting

27) Start gathering items to donate to public library

28) Write Julie and Cindy

29) Update and organize audio and picture files on external drives

30) Call my mom

31) Catch up on ironing

32) Fix ED genealogy list

33) Write script for RS B-day party

34) Figure out what's for dinner all week long

35) Wipe down base boards

36) Follow up on hospital bill

37) Get cats their shots

38) Take massive pile of paper to be shredded

39) Catch up on Sailor Moon episodes

40) Breathe!

People are People

On the Jukebox: "Take My Life" by Scott McLean
Mood: Calm
Quote: "Everything we do is so wholesome!" ~ Roman Holiday
Flair: If you feed them they will come...

Today I was pondering what it is about certain people that makes me curious about them. There are some individuals who stick out of the crowd because of their eccentricities. I'm always trying to figure out what makes people tick. For example: what possessed the lady I saw at Costco on Friday to wear a parka, scarf, and gloves with apple green flip flops? Why do some of the women in my ward dress impeccably but never inspect what their kids are wearing before they leave the house? Why am I so interested in what other people are thinking?

Perhaps it's because I like to make up little stories to explain their idiosyncrasies. Through my observations I've come to conclude that most people have really kind hearts and good intentions. Almost without exception I can label my closest friends as goodie goodies. They have varying degrees of likability and cuteness factors but over all they are good people who make the world a better place because they get out of bed every morning and look for opportunities to serve others.

It often surprises me to discover that these friends were not extremely popular in school. Each of them excel in some way or another. Each is a good person who contributes to society. Some are funny, others are somber, some are outgoing while others are calm. I like the way each is like a piece of a puzzle that when assembled gives a better picture of who I am. My friends bring out my good qualities. My enemies bring out my weaknesses so it is definitely better for me to surround myself with positive people who supply inspiration. Good people tend to see the good in others so even when I am not at my best they give me the benefit of a doubt. I like that good people understand that being human means having things we struggle to overcome. I like that they cheer for others to succeed. I adore that they offer prayers in behalf of those who need assistance. I am grateful to associate with the cream of the crop.

Do-It-Yourself Heroes

On the Jukebox: "The Dolphin Song" by Olivia Newton-John
Mood: Relieved
Quote: "So long and thanks for all the fish." ~ Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Flair: Delphinus

I was watching the news earlier this week and was saddened by the story of the five white beaked dolphins that became trapped behind a wall of ice in a harbor in Newfoundland. The area that they were swimming in was shrinking and there was a danger that they would drown. The residents of Seal Cove could hear their distressing cries and found it especially heart breaking at night. The mayor asked for an icebreaker but one was not available and was it believed it may do more damage to the animals by crushing them. The biggest risk to the animals was not starvation, it was succumbing to exhaustion and suffocating beneath the ice.

Although many have openly criticized the handful of locals who mounted a rescue attempt that *may* have done more harm than good, I applaud their proactive efforts. It took over five hours for the five men to break a path to open water for the dolphins. The philosopher Edmund Burke once said, "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." We've all heard the stories of dolphins who have rescued humans from the sea. I like to think we owe them something in return. They are believed to be one of the highest forms of intelligence on our planet next to mankind. The dolphins were obviously aware of the humans watching from the nearby shore. Who of us could turn our backs on any form of life crying for help?

I've seen, heard, and read things regarding animals that have made me sad. I think of the huge fires burning through Australia and how many people and animals have perished. I'm not a tree hugger, but I still feel for all of God's creatures that suffer (except maybe for spiders.) It made me feel relieved when I read that at least three of the five dolphins were rescued. One is believed to have drowned and another may have made it to open water on its own.

To Brandon Banks, the brave teenage boy who jumped into the frigid waters of the bay and kept that final exhausted dolphin's head above water and towed it to safety - I thank you. I paid a lot of money to swim with dolphins in Mexico but I'm betting that your experience is priceless and that you'll remember it forever.

She Breaks For Rainbows

On the Jukebox: "Everybody's Changing" by Keane
Mood: Spiffy
Quote: "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." ~ The Shawshank Redemption
Flair: Sharing Time

"Though she hasn't that much to say, she knows where the rain goes... she breaks for rainbows. Fly Brenda fly! Window in the weather, flowers in her hair, footprints on the ceiling... how did they get there?" ~ B-52's

I've been contemplating my fate as a Flibbertigibbet and have decided it could be so much worse. I mean, I could be normal! What fun would that be? I like being whimsical. I'm so relieved to have the overactive sort of imagination. Life would be dull if I didn't stop to smell the roses and admire the rainbows in puddles at the gas station. I like that I go off on wild tangents and can't stay focused on things even when I find them engrossing. It's not ADHD unless that stands for Actively Dreaming in High Definition. Even when I am absorbing the most fascinating information I am already busy trying to synthesize it into something I can use. For example this morning I was watching something on The Learning Channel about ESP and at the same time I was asking myself 'How can I use this?' and my mind went about 20 different places. Do I have a point? Yes! When people ask me how I come up with my stories or how I know so many things the answer is simple: "I'm a Flibbertigibbet!"

My Blessing

On the Jukebox: "Happiness Comes to My House" by Spencer the Gardner
Mood: Bueno
Quote: "The dishes are done, man!" ~ Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead
Flair: A wish for you

A blessing, (also used to refer to bestowing of such) is the infusion of something with holiness, divine will, or one's hopes. I believe that most of us are familiar with the popular Irish Blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I love the sentiments expressed in it. Such generous thoughts should be articulated aloud to those we love. It is my hope to someday be able to express a blessing to each of the people who have touched my life for good. Some would be poignant, others funny, but each blessing would be custom fit to the situation. That's what I admire about the Irish poets who wrote such blessings for marriages, births, and funerals. Here's one I wrote for my former coworkers at UOP which I call the O-Town Blessing:

May the road always be clear on your commute through the bottle neck.
May the wind be always from the Wonderbread factory & not the dog food plant.
May your students be critical thinkers, financially secure, & computer savvy.
May the possessed East elevator door not hit you on the way out. Donk!
May you always remember me fondly until we meet again somewhere in Act IV.

Obviously this one has a lot of private jokes in it but it also communicates a sense of fond remembrance of said coworkers. Any O-Town employee can tell you what a dog food day is and how much better it was when the delicious smell of baking bread wafted on the air.

A friend shared this glurge with me entitled "I wish you enough." It communicated a wish that has been handed down from other generations through a family. When they said 'I wish you enough,' they wanted the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."

Touching, no? Well, I didn't cry because I'm fairly heartless and able to resist crying over glurge and E.T. and other such things but don't show me certain TV commericals or Disney movies. I like songs that express the sentiments of blessings. One example would be Elton John's "Blessed":

And you, you'll be blessed
You'll have the best
I promise you that
I'll pick a star from the sky
Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
You'll be blessed

But my favorite is "The Blessing" performed by Celtic Woman, Lisa Kelly. Until I have time to write all my blessings I hope that the words of this particular song will be an acceptable substitute.




I bless you
And you bless me, too

Almost 2 Weeks Notice

On the Jukebox: "Piano in the Dark" by Brenda Russel
Mood: Uh-huh
Quote: "Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of life with cookies." ~ Edward Scissorhands
Flair: Bard Truth

Consider yourself warned. I'm feeling uber lazy and have decided to take a tiny break from long rambling posts. I've had half a dozen other projects going this past week and haven't spent as much time down in the basement as I normally do (not to mention it is freezing down here!)

I'm a tad frustrated with my lack of follow through lately. I had planned to have ED Book 2 finished by the beginning of March which is not far away now. Is it really possible that I can write 350 pages in 1 1/2 weeks? That's like 39 pages a day! I have had days where I have cranked out 25+ pages but 39 consistently? Yikes, that's like 5 pages an hour. The problem is that I like to get sidetracked with unnecessary research. I should own some sort of stock in Wikipedia - or they should pay me for every hour or article I click on - I'd be set for life.

Anyway I've decided to move my deadline for the first draft to the end of March unless more huge distractions come along (it's possible as we are looking at some life changing type of decisions in the near future...)I feel like the kid that knew that the big paper was due in 8 weeks and goofed off until 3 days before it was due. Wait, I was totally that kid!

Fun & Games

On the Jukebox: "Girlfriend in a Coma" by the Smiths
Mood: Playful
Quote: "All people make around here are balloon animals and enemies." ~ Pushing Daisies
Flair: Talent

What do the sort of games we like to play tell us about ourselves? Does it reveal our hidden strengths and weaknesses? (Pictionary proves I can't draw!) Do we like games of chance or strategy? Do we like being on a team or playing as an individual? Does playing a game bring out our competitive nature or our spirit of cooperation? Are we are a gracious winner or poor loser or something in between?

It is a little ironic that the games I most enjoy have a lot in common with the games I least enjoy. For example: I love to play Balderdash because it increases both vocabulary and bluffing skills and I like to play Scattagories because it forces creative thinking. However, I detest Scrabble and Boggle even though they are word games because they make me feel dyslexic and play upon my weakness of misspelling common words. I like Settlers of Catan but dislike Risk although both are similar in strategy. I like Phase 10 but not Yahtzee even though they are essentially the same. I'll kick your butt at Scene It and other trivia games but I don't necessarily like to play them because they tend to reveal that I spend way too much time watching TV and surfing the Internet.

Confession: I like to cheat sometimes. Not because I want to win, but because I think it's funny how no one suspects me. It's part of the game to me. I don't cheat at all games, just certain games. I even try to be obvious about it. Sometimes I have a co-conspirator, sometimes I'm on my own. I never win when I cheat, so if I have cleaned your clock at something... I did it based on skill and luck.

Games I love to play:
1) Balderdash
2) Scattagories
3) UNO Hearts
4) Settlers of Catan
5) Phase 10
6) Scene It
7) Pictionary

Games I love to 'cheat' at:
1) Dominoes
2) UNO

Games I detest:
1) Boggle
2) Scrabble
3) Trivial Pursuit
4) Risk

Games I never play correctly:
1) Cooties
2) Mousetrap

Games I've just learned to play:
1) Gang of Four
2) Blokus
3) Apples 2 Apples

Video games I like:
1) Tetris
2) Dr. Mario
3) Yoshie's Cookie
4) Adventure for Atari

Time Machine Medley

On the Jukebox: "Change the World" by Eric Clapton
Mood: Feeling Monday
Quote: "80's music is so 2002!" ~ Phineas and Ferb
Flair: Tempting

Have you ever noticed how a radio or MP3 player can become a time machine? There are some songs that the instant I hear them I am transported back to some event in my life. The Beatles had their Magical Mystery Tour... I like to think of listening to music as something of the same. I never know where my mind will go when I hear a certain song. There are some songs that always lead back to the same destination and there are others that are fluid.

Sometimes these songs were new the year that I link them with. Such is the case with "Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys - I'm 9 and roller skating at the Jefferson Rink. "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears - I'm 14 and attending my first youth conference and asking a boy to dance for the first time. "Kissing a Fool" by George Michael - I'm back on the day of my high school graduation (not kissing anybody.) "You Are" by Lionel Richie - I'm 12 and at the Audubon Zoo with the mutual group. "Only You" by Yaz - I'm 17 and driving the San Marcus Pass to Santa Barbara on the day I ditched school with a few friends to get over my boy problems. "The Sign" by Ace of Base - I'm 20 something and driving to the airfield on Ft. Drum to pick up my husband. "Macerena" by Los Del Rio - I'm 20-something and in Seoul, South Korea watching the summer Olympics in Atlanta.

Sometimes they are oldies but linked with newer memories. "Rains of Africa" by Toto - I'm 19 and am trying desperately to get my future husband's attention at an Institute dance. "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys - I'm 29 and driving through the rain in Montana on a solo road trip. "Turn Back the Clock" by Johnny Hates Jazz - I'm 30 and am packaging a million promo kits for Don Aslett's QVC special. "One in a Million" by Bosson - I'm 34 and running on my treadmill for the first time in three years. "Moonglow" by Rod Stewart - I'm 37 and my husband and I are at the Olive Garden eating chocolate lasagna but I can't wait to get home for real dessert.

I wish I could say that all songs had good (or at least neutral) memories associated with them but they don't. "Flashdance" by Irene Cara - I'm 12 and humiliating myself at the school talent show (the really cool girl sang this song.)"An Innocent Man" by Billy Joel - I'm 13 and have locked myself out on the balcony of a hotel room in my skimpy nightie in plain view of a guy I had a crush on during a youth trip. "Axel F" by Harold Faltermeyer - I'm a Yearling at Girl's Camp being tortured by the mean Summiteers. "Out of the Blue" by Debbie Gibson - I'm 17 and puking my guts out before my B-day party.

I like how the meaning of certain songs change over time. It's cool how we can apply the lyrics to our lives and find universal truths in them - well except for maybe "Mambo #5" and "Who let the Dogs out" - let me know if you've got an example of how this applicable to your life and I'll gladly recant my statement.

No Rest For the Wicked

On the Jukebox: "Onward Christian Soldiers" by Stretch Armstrong
Mood: Okay
Quote: "Butts are for chairs pal." ~ The R.M.
Flair: Ask for Directions

I've been pondering the scriptures a lot lately and have come to a strange conclusion: people are idiots! It seems we don't learn from history and are doomed to repeat the same mistakes that others have made even though we've been warned about them time and again. I look at our current political situation and see the pattern repeated in the Book of Mormon with the judges and the kingmen. We are destined to reap what we sow. It makes sense. You can't plant potato seeds and expect pumpkins.

In watching the news lately I see another truth: the wicked take the truth to be hard. I am amazed at how even when the Governor of Illinois was caught on tape attempting to take a bribe for the open Senate seat, he claims he is being misrepresented and that he is *gasp* innocent. He ravels off a list of justifications for his actions. I see the same thing when I watch reality TV show clips. I find it amazing how quickly the attacks turn venomous on those who are speaking the truth or trying to correct wrong doers. I was listening to talk radio the other day and was surprised to hear that over 87% of teachers have been threatened with a law suit for trying to keep order and academic honesty in their classrooms. I am willing to bet that 30 years ago this wouldn't have been the case. Parents defend their children even when they know their kids are guilty because they are trying to avoid the embarrassment of failing in their parental duties. Why are we allowing the wicked to dictate what is socially correct?

Here's something I think is ironic. The prophet Isaiah warned that there would be no rest for the wicked, but he also failed to mention that the righteous wouldn't be hanging out on clouds playing harps and eating Philly cream cheese on bagels. I used to look forward to death because I could use a good dirt nap. I never seem to get enough sleep (hmm, perhaps I need to repent of something..?)any way I was beginning to think of death as a hammock strung between two palm trees on a tropical beach. Then I read that the righteous would be busy on the other side of the veil working to get ready for the second coming and such. Eventually when judgement day comes and goes I understand we get a holiday or something. In the meantime, I'll bide my time here where at least I don't have to work 24-7.

VALENTIMES SHMALUNMTIMES

On the Jukebox: "No More I Love You's" by Annie Lenox
Mood: Meh
Quote: "Gunga Din is not a swatch kind of movie." ~ Sleepless in Seattle
Flair: A Delicious Bass

There are few things I hate more than commericalized holidays. It seems like every holiday these days has gone that route which is a big time bummer. It seems like you can get colored lights to decorate for any special day. I want to know who the Smoe is that buys the blow up stove pipe hat to commemorate President's Day? I'm with Homestar Runner when it comes to the latter quarter of the year - we should just call it Decemberween. It is so annoying when the Christmas trees and holiday accessories show up in stores the week of Halloween.

Valentine's Day is the holiday that annoys me most. As a teenager I always had a boyfriend in February, but I hated the obligatory gift giving that occurred. It was so awkward and often lead to a break up. I didn't want to be given a gift that was given more out of pressure than out of affection. I didn't want the guys I dated to feel that they needed to force themselves into feeling more for me than they might have. I certainly didn't want to trick myself into feeling more for them just because they showed up with flowers, chocolates, and trinkets. I had a hard time believing boys when they suddenly verbalize feelings of love or attachment that just happened to correspond with a holiday designed to market products that enduce or enhance such feelings. I believed they wanted to be in love with the idea of love more than they really wanted to be in with love me.

I've never been into giving gifts - that's not my love language. I have a very difficult time accepting them. I adored my guy friends and enjoyed hanging out with them. Occasionally one would try to redefine our relationship and gifts seemed to signal that. Between the age of 16-18 I was gifted a diamond pendent, a car radio, videos, watches, mix tapes, a jean jacket, CDs, stuffed animals, flowers, and enough chocolates to put me into a diabetic coma. These gifts were all given by different guys and surprisingly, none of the big ticket items were given to me for Valentine's Day and none of the guys who gifted me the above mentioned items ever received more than a 'thanks' or a 'you're such a great friend' for the effort.

I was a cold fish and I can count my fingers (not including thumbs) how many guys I've actually kissed. Those guys did something different - they appealed to my primary love languages of quality time and words of affirmation. If I were the type of person to want a Valentine's gift, I would want something hand made that came from the heart like a love letter. Thus, I am not a fan of prepackaged romance and the silliness that encircles this holiday. I love how at the end of Napoleon Dynamite, he gives Deb a bass that he caught. That's freakin' tender.

My sweetheart gets me and doesn't do Valentine's hoopla. Rest assured that romance is far from dead in our home. He knows that he'll get better results if he brings me flowers in March for no particular reason or takes me to see a chick flick in June. He knows that I'll be delighted by a simple gesture of making his fabulous cheesecake for one of my book club parties. I love that he makes handstamped cards for our anniversary. I adore that he bakes me half a birthday cake just for me. I love when he rubs my back, touches my hair, or slow dances with me in the living room. I love how he looks into my eyes when we're talking. You can't buy that kind of stuff. That tells me that it's real love and affection with genuine thought put into it, not something a jewelry store, confectioneries, and florists were pushing.

Use Your Words!

On the Jukebox: "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by The Verve
Mood: Happy
Quote: "... and in the morning, I'm making waffles!" ~ Shrek
Flair: Father Bête Noire

Some of you may have caught on to the fact that I like words more than most people (and by that I mean that I like words more than I like most people.) I love the nuance and subtly of language. So often it suggests more than it actually says. I love being able to read between the lines, to catch double entendres, and to enjoy a clever play on words. I certainly don't suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - that's the fear of big words.

In fact the less familiar the word is, the more I am likely to use it. Why say ancient when I can say archaic or antediluvian? Why say red when I can say vermilion, crimson, or scarlet? Why say gourmet meal when I can say epicurean delight? Why should I say enemy when I can say nemesis, anathema, bete noire, or bane of my existence?

Sometimes I an guilty of choosing mordacious words that are sharp or caustic in tone because it adds to my witticism. Be glad I called you a moron instead of an idiot because I know the difference. Did you know that the terms moron, idiot, imbecile, bright, and gifted are all terms from a psychology scale of intelligence used to determine IQ? It goes like this: idiot (IQ 0-25), imbecile (IQ of 26-50), moron (IQ of 51-70), average (IQ of 85-114), bright (IQ of 115-129), gifted (IQ of 130- 144)...

Mensa requires a IQ score of 132 for membership. Einstein is believed to have had an IQ around 160. I'm happy with my IQ classification of 'gifted' as I know I would have to be reclassified if it were based solely on math - I would be a moron. It's my vocabulary that makes me a genius. I like the mellifluous sounds of words. Each one has a neat pitch and color associated with it. Words taste delicious to me the way colors, music, or food might give sensory impressions to other people.

Perhaps I suffer from synesthesia, the neurologically based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway. I do like to use cross-sensory metaphors ("loud shirt," "bitter wind" or "prickly laugh.) I can count to purple backwards too!

I love Beatrice, Shakespeare's feisty, cynical, and witty heroine from Much Ado About Nothing, who was so good at verbal sparing. There's a woman who knows how to use her words. In fact her wit is so quick that Benedick remarks that he wish his horse had the speed of her tongue. Of herself she says she was 'born to speak all mirth and no matter.' Many people, including the prince, recognize and admire her pleasant spirit and merriness. Unfortunately, like Beatrice I often do not know when to hold my tongue. I'm guilty of going too far in my enjoyment of arranging carefully crafted and clever retorts that I often wound the feelings of others.

Benedick, her one time and would be again suitor says, "she misused me past the endurance of a block. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince's jester, and that I was duller than a great thaw, huddling jest upon jest, with such impossible conveyance upon me, that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her, she would infect to the North star. So indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follows her."

Luckily, Benedick himself is also a master of language though maybe not quite her equal. The rule should be if you dish it, be prepared to take it. So, I will bear that in mind next time I start in on someone who is not my equal and I'll remove my brain so we can have a fair match. In the meantime, enjoy one of the better verbal volleys from the play. It reminds me of romantic comedies like You've Got Mail and Moonlighting.

Beatrice: I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody marks you.

Benedick: What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?

Beatrice: Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.

Benedick: Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none.

Beatrice: A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

Benedick: God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face.

Beatrice: Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were.

Benedick: Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

Beatrice: A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

Benedick: I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's name; I have done.

Beatrice: You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.

It's Not My Week...

On the Jukebox: "Old Fashioned Love Song" by Three Dog Night
Mood: Good!
Quote: "Do you prefer fashion victim or ensemblely challenged?" ~ Clueless
Flair: Late Fee

Once in every generation an idea comes along that is so brilliant it revolutionizes the way we live. Some popular examples include: flushing toilets, sliced bread, remote control, and the Snuggie. Unfortunately, I have not had one of these ideas that can be capitalized on for financial gain. No, I had an idea that I thought would redefine the whole Mars/Venus relationship. I was going to end the battle of the sexes once and for all. I really deserved to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for my work - except it hasn't proved 100% successful.

Perhaps future generations will be able to adapt my ideas because they were too futuristic for our time. It is important to note that as a society we've come leaps in bounds in recognizing the equality of men and women, (equality as in 'equally balanced' not as in 'exactly the same') yet we still have a way to go. There are certain roles that will always be gender specific such as men should always have to kill the bugs and women are in charge of the seashell shaped soaps that collect on the back of the toilet. It is uncertain who made these rules, but there are cave paintings that support that this is a long standing tradition of male breadwinners and female homemakers. I like those roles but our world has changed and the roles needed to be redefined to reflect our changing times.

A few years ago my spouse and I had a major breakthrough. We were both working full time and going to school full time. Our house was suffering from neglect. Try as we might we couldn't keep up on the chores. Part of the problem was that we both suffered from thinking errors. I thought I was supposed to do all the cooking and he was supposed to do all the BBQing. I'll mend the sewing and he'll fix the car and other stuff that gets broken. You can imagine how well that worked out. While there are certain things that seem to fit better for one gender than the other, the rules are not finite. Realizing that was the first step to a brave new world.

We decided to define who's job it was to do certain tasks and then we would split the others. For example: I clean the bathrooms, he cleans the cat box (pregnant ladies aren't supposed to do that.) He brings in the mail and takes out the garbage. I pay the bills and create the budget. He handles the majority of the yard work and I handle the misc. housework like dusting and cleaning windows. We share the responsibility for cooking, menu planning, shopping, along with laundry and vacuuming. We iron our own clothes. When it's my week to cook, it's his week to do the laundry and vacuuming and vice-versa. The person who's week it is to cook must also decide what's for dinner and where to go if we are eating out. We eat out twice a month so that works out well.

You might think we solved the equality problem once and for all. It's close but it's not quite perfect. There are weeks when we have relapses but overall it works for us. Our communication skills and expectations were much improved by this new system except for one pesky thing. There was one unexpected phrase that has crept into our vocabulary that irks me when he uses it and probably drives him crazy when I say it: "It's not my week to cook!"

This phrase is uttered for things unrelated to cooking in order to pass the buck on decision making. Which movie do you want to see? "It's not my week to cook!" Do you want to go to Provo and hang out with my family? "It's not my week to cook!" Would you like to make love tonight? "It's not my week to cook!" Yes, most of the time we say it in jest, but it can get to be pretty darn annoying. Thus the Mars/Venus relationship issues are still alive and well. On the plus side we're well fed and our house won't be condemned anytime soon, I can live with that. Maybe in time we'll figure it out completely, but for now I'd better figure out what exactly is for dinner because excuses aren't very filling.

Soqueloquies

On the Jukebox: "Tonight and the Rest of My Life" by Nina Gordon
Mood: Beachy
Quote: "Quit trying to make fetch happen!" ~ Mean Girls
Flair: Heck yeah!

In many ways a blog is a soliloquy. Think about it: it's a long, uninterrupted, monologue intended to give the illusion of unspoken reflections, private thoughts and feelings to an unseen audience by a single person on a stage. Yeah, that sounds a lot like what I do here. I would like to introduce you to another concept: Soqueloquy - the art of talking to oneself using an idiosyncratic language. Lest you should suffer from idioglossia (a language invented and spoken by only one or a very few people), I am here to explain some of my eccentric terms. Please note: I did not invent all of these words or sayings. Some have become incorporated after watching TV or hanging out with specific people.

Today I'd like to start by sharing some exclamations I commonly use. First, there are my "Swears" such as: fetch, bee feathers, wretched cow, douche rocket, and pizza shoe. Second, there are the "Wowees" such as: noodle salad, whashoo, woohoo, woot, and Fr'tac. Third, there are the "Name callers" such as: Punkluke, Hosebeast, L-7W, and my personal favorite - Treatloser!!! Fourth, there are the "needs little explanation descriptors" such as: whambulance, lameburger helper, metrosexual, and patheisad.

Let's look at an example shall we?

Wretched Cow:
Pronunciation: \ˈre-chəd ˈkau\
Etymology: Middle English akin to Old High German
Date: 1908
Origin: Anne of Green Gables (Movie)
1: extremely or deplorably bad, distressing, miserable, or contemptible mature female of various usually large animals regardless of sex or age.
2: any situation in which one finds themselves wishing they had such an animal to blame for their troubles.
3: any female who ruins another's happiness

You may have seen the movie this nifty little phrase comes from. Below is an excerpt of the scene in which the handy words are used in proper syntax.

SCENE: Muddy field

DIANA: Anne! You'll ruin your dress in that muddy field! Ruin it! She'll never get that cow all by herself. Come back! Stop! Anne Shirley, you are being ridiculous! Get out of the field this minute!

ANNE: I don't care about my dress! I must get the cow out before Rachel Lynde sees her! Alright, Diana, run! Corner her! That's it, Diana! Now, don't frighten her. This is what we've got to do: Maybe if we can get a hold of her we can force her over the fence into our field. Look, you fill the gap. And I'm going to make a run for it, straight toward her. With any luck she'll jump the fence.

DIANA: You don't mean you're actually going to walk through that mulch, do you?

ANNE: It's the lesser of the two evils, Diana. Or she'll get into Rachel's cabbage patch again.

DIANA: Alright! I have the gap blocked.

ANNE: Here, Dolly. Good girl. Shoo! Come on! You wretched cow! Don't even think about Rachel's cabbages. [she falls, Diana screams]

DIANA: Oh, Anne. Your stupid cow. [she falls]

ANNE: Sorry.

GILBERT: Well, the elegant and illustrious Miss Shirley. Relaxed while seeking out ideas for her next Rollings Reliable writing assignment, I presume.

ANNE: Well, do you suppose I'm here to chat with the bullfrogs? Be a gentleman.

GILBERT: You'd've been better off selling her last month when dad offered to buy her.

ANNE: Well, I'll sell Dolly to him right now, if he wants her. [Mr. Blythe laughs] You may have our darn jersey anytime you want to, Mr. Blythe. Well, this very minute, for that matter.

MR. BLYTHE: Done! I'll give you the $20 I offered before. Gil can drive her over to Carmody right now and she'll go to town with the rest of the shipments this evening. I promised Mr. Reed of Brighton a jersey. [he laughs]

DIANA: What will Marilla say?

ANNE: She won't care. Dolly was my cow, anyway. It's not likely she'll bring more than $20 at the auction. But when Rachel sees this field, she'll know Dolly was loose.

GILBERT: Anne, I'll be over this afternoon with your $20.

ANNE: Well, it's taught me a lesson: not to stake my word of honor on cows. [Mr. Blythe laughs]

No Comment

On the Jukebox: "Absolutely (Story Of A Girl)" by Nine Days
Mood: Gettin' Better All the Time...
Quote: "Go that way, really fast; if something gets in your way . . . turn." ~ Better Off Dead
Flair: TTL, Not!

Blah blah blah blog... right? Did I mention it is snowing yet again? And my fingers are cold. And I'm not quite awake. And I am in desperate need of chocolate. I know I should take my blog serious every day and not just on the days when I'm doing my mental warm up for writing BUT did I also mention I was taking the week off?

Yep, yesterday I spent 45 minutes scrubbing the shower in the master bathroom with cleanser. I absolutely loathe cleanser - probably more than I loathe dirty showers. Now I'll admit my house is not the cleanest but it's definitely not the dirtiest either. It used to be my habit to dust and vacuum every day whether it needed it or not. I didn't have much of a life back then. Now I'm satisfied with vacuuming once a week and dusting as needed. Why? Because there are only two people who live here and so it's not like the household of seven I grew up in that tracked dirt in by the truck load. Why should I do laundry every week if it actually takes two weeks to make a full load of whites and a full load of darks? It's about working smarter not harder.

So about that shower - I clean it on a regular basis, but this was the deep scrubbing, 'act like you might be moving out and want your deposit back' sort of cleaning. I do that like twice a year. Seriously who has 45 minutes to spend on a shower every week? I know you'll say "If you cleaned it more often then you wouldn't spend 45 minutes on it." Oh yeah? Who died and made you Don Aslett? I know how to clean, I learned from the cleaning guru himself - and I know he's not dead. Now if you'll excuse me I have a microwave oven that is in need of some TLC - typically lame cleaning.

What Now???

On the Jukebox: "You Sang to Me" by Marc Anthony
Mood: Improving
Quote: "Cancel my subscription; I'm over your issues!" ~ Teena McGeener
Flair: Tastes Winterfresh!

I've spent to the better part of the last few months procrastinating on my presentation. Now it's over and done with. So it begs the question: "What now?" Answer: I have no clue. It really depends on many factors that are beyond my control such as where Grant will get a job and whether that means we need to sell our home and move elsewhere. Do I take the proactive approach and start packing or stick my head in the sand and procrastinate as long as possible? I don't know!!!

I guess the best thing to do is to carry on as normal. Keep doing all my church callings as if I were going to be around for the RS Enrichment activity in August and such. Keep associating with people instead of trying to wean myself away from my friendships. Keep my pretty belongings out where I can enjoy their aesthetic value. Keep getting out of bed every morning and breathing in and out even though it hurts. Keep writing ED:2 so that the local book club can read the first draft before anything happens. Keep on keeping on...

BUT - I just want to scream. Is it over yet! What's going on? What is it that I'm supposed to be doing? Hey Universe! Didn't you get my order? I thought it was supposed to be instantaneous and stuff - this isn't at all what I visualized. My patience is wearing thin. Where's my game plan? What's the real secret? How long am I supposed to deal with this limbo? It's getting old and I'm about to take my ball and go home! I hate feeling like I'm wasting precious time but I have no idea what it is that I'm supposed to be doing with it. The funny thing is that I'm still ultra busy. How does that make any sense? Universe: you've got some explaining to do!

10 Leopards

On the Jukebox: "Close Every Door" by Donny Osmond
Mood: Thankful
Quote: "Be Grateful..." ~ Gordon B. Hinckley
Flair: Pet Peeve #47

As a young child I remember my grandmother reading me the Bible story about the time that Jesus healed ten lepers. Only one of them came back to thank him for healing him, even though Jesus had given ten men back their lives. Leprosy was a life sentence back then. Those who contracted the disease were untouchable because it was contagious. Many were forced to leave their communities or ring a bell to warn others of their approach so that contact could be avoided. For some reason I thought the story was about ten leopards. Why not? Cats have bells on their collars, Jesus can understand all of Heavenly Father's creatures, and who says a leopard can't change it's spots? I'm sure Jesus could do it...

Fortunately even though I didn't grasp the difference between felines and invalids, the lessons I took away from this particular story were that we are healed through our faith and that it is important to express our gratitude. I am often guilty of having great intentions and not following through on them. Sure, I say thanks when an act of service is rendered or a gift given but I mean to follow up with a written note or a plate of cookies and so often (9 times out of 10 - just like the lepers) I'm the leopard that didn't express proper gratitude.

Here's a list of some of my notoriously bad Leopard days:

1) Last Easter, I enjoyed a wonderful Venezuelan meal with the RS President and her family. It was delicious and the company was especially fun. I meant to go home and whip up a gorgeous hand stamped card (because she knows I make those) and mail it right out. I was probably distracted by something shiny.

2) A few months ago I ordered half a dozen tubes of Avon lip balm costing about $2. It took a while for the order to come in and then the representative gave them to me for free. I was really touched because it happened to be during a time when we were in between paychecks and I know she wasn't aware of that fact. I'm sure I could have scrounged the change from my car or seat cushions but I was grateful for her sweet gesture of friendship.

3) My next door neighbor recently got a snow blower. Every time he does his driveway he does ours too. I owe him a refill on his gas can and a dozen cookies. I really hope he knows how much we appreciate him. Saying thanks isn't enough.

4) I have the best ward! When I had surgery the RS sisters brought meals in even though I was capable of heating up my own Spaghetti-Os. My home teachers gave me a blessing, they mowed my yard every week while Grant was in Iraq, the young men came and did some yard maintenance, and I know members of the EQ also helped with snow removal. I was in tears when I looked at my bedroom window at 5:30 AM and saw someone shoveling before leaving for work. My visiting teachers were equally wonderful. I'm behind by at least a dozen thank yous...

5) My friends are great. Again when I had to have surgery and Grant was in Iraq, one used some of her vacation days to come take care of me. Another drove me to my appointments when I was hopped up on pain killers. I recognize the sacrifice of their time and the inconvenience of juggling jobs and children. It's a blessing to have friends who are so willing to serve one another.

6) Speaking of friends that serve - just two days ago I was having the worst day. I was ill - affects of my thyroid issues, low blood sugars, lack of sleep, a heap of stress, and to top it all off my lady days! I literally could not function. My joints hurt so bad that I could not hold onto things. I was supposed to set up my display for the Women's Conference that I was presenting at the next day. I could not do it. My brain wouldn't work right and I couldn't even articulate my thoughts. It was so frustrating. I am grateful for the friends who loaned me things to display and those who helped to create an aesthetic arrangement. They can't know how much peace they brought to my harried life.

7) Then there was the time as a self absorbed teenager when I sketched a fabulous mermaid Halloween costume and then my mother spent several days sewing the complicated design. I've been told (by my aunt after the fact) that I didn't express proper gratitude. I should have been fixing dinner and doing dishes instead of whatever teenagerish thing I was doing.

8) I've been told I was pretty much a moochy leopard when I lived with my grandparents. I should have been vacuuming and dusting and helping with meals instead of enjoying the social life of my senior year. I didn't think of what an inconvenience it must have been to have their routine interrupted by an oblivious 17 yr old. I thought it was a great honor for them to have me, instead of realizing what a favor they were doing for me. My grandparents have passed on now. I hope they know how much I really did love and appreciate them even when I failed to express it with words and deeds.

9) About two months ago I was in a sulky mood and decided not to participate to my highest capacity in an Enrichment planning meeting. Afterwards one of the ladies who was there called to check on me. She was worried that I was ill or had my feelings hurt or something. I was touched that she noticed that I wasn't my normal self and that she took time out of her day to let me know she was thinking of me.

10) I probably didn't express proper gratitude for something you did for me. Sometimes I am so overcome by my feelings that I will cry if I try to articulate how touched I am by little things - like the way my mother sends me cards every few weeks or a friend from down the street brings a small plate of goodies whenever she bakes because she knows we don't make goodies in our household or the arm lovingly placed around my shoulder when you ask how I am. I am tender hearted and am afraid of not only embarrassing myself but those who say kind things or offer me assistance and gestures of friendship. I am a boob! Please know, dear friend, that even when I simply say 'thanks' to you and it doesn't feel like I appreciate you enough... that I am expressing gratitude in my prayers for the blessing you are in my life. I've learned lessons and am not as self absorbed as I once was. I want to be the tenth leopard, the one that when the spots were removed remembered to acknowledge the difference it made in the quality of his life.

Time Out

On the Jukebox: "A Deeper Shade of Blue" by Steps
Mood: Exhausted
Quote: "It's OVER!!!" ~ Strongbad
Flair: Easy Button

What an exhausting day! I got only 3 hours of sleep last night and was pretty much running on empty. By the time I got home from the Women's Conference I was ready to collapse. Unfortunately it was too late to take a nap or I'd sleep right through bedtime and wake up in the middle of the night. Instead I forced myself to do some housework until Grant got home from his AF Reserve weekend and then we watched some of the TV shows we DVRd during the week. It felt so good to zone out but I couldn't get over the feeling that I should be doing something.

Have you ever had that annoying feeling that you have forgotten to do something important? It seems to be happening to me more and more often lately. I am so distracted I can't function in the real world. I've decided that I need a time out so I've decided that all of next week I will take it easy and only do what I have to do - starting with cleaning the bathrooms and catching up on laundry. I will take a few days off from writing ED 2:3 to organize my thoughts. I really should balance the checkbook and put away all the stuff that I dragged out for my displays. Yep, I think I'll go do that now so that I can enjoy a week off. St. Thomas sounds pretty good about now!

GIRL (friend) POWER

On the Jukebox: "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls
Mood: Excited/Nervous
Quote: "I get by with a little help from my friends" ~ The Beatles
Flair: Grrlfriends

Today I'm feeling sort of sentimental. To say the least, it's been an interesting week. My 'first born fictional daughter' just got married and I'm feeling a wee bit old. If that weren't enough I was contacted by an old friend JCC on Facebook. She called me by a name I haven't heard in 23 year and I hardly remember the person I was that she knew. I doubt she would recognize me now that I've emerged from my cocoon.

I owe my emergence as a bright winged creature to a special group of people who helped me get from there to here: my girlfriends. I hate to name names because I will end up leaving too many people out and I don't want to hurt feelings... so I'll just give a few examples to illustrate my point.

First there was Holly, a scholarly and elegant muse. She didn't try to change me from the caterpillar I was because she already saw what I would become. She tried to hold the mirror up and make me see it too. She encouraged me to continue my daydreaming ways and to work on my creative writing skills.

She moved away and I went into my cocoon. I was shy and awkward and afraid to use my voice. It was painful to transform myself and break free of the cocoon. I managed to do so when I moved and was forced to start over making new friends.

Enter Debbie, a bright eyed and unbiased optimist who once said to me, "You know how to do everything!" She may have said it in a joking admiring tone but it stuck with me. It made a difference to have a friend who had confidence in me when I had my doubts.

Fast forward about another 20 years and you get to where I am now. Most of the time I'm poised with a good balance of self assurance and humility. I have the occasional wobble which causes me to nearly spiral into the vortex of egotism or an inferiority complex. Lately I feel I'm standing precariously close to the edge. I'm grateful for the friends that hold my pedestal still - granted it's more like a foot stool than a column, but it's I wouldn't want to fall off of it. When my wings dry I plan to fly!

This special group of a dozen friends I'm going to collectively call my 'Fan Club' because I've allowed them to test read my Ethereal Dreamer series. Each woman has played a significant role in supporting me in various ways, but since we often get together it's easier if I acknowledge them as a unit. I adore these ladies because like Holly and Debbie (and countless others before and since) they recognize the best in me and encourage me to keep going when I feel tired and uninspired.

Last week a trio of said fan club members invited me to dinner to discuss the latest installment in the ED series. Their enthusiasm for the 200 page sample was overwhelming. I like my book, but I still find it strange when other people do, even weirder when they love it. Each of these ladies has a distinctly different personality and style, so it's sort of neat to see that the story has universal appeal. Later a couple other members of the fan club dropped by to see if I had the next section finished. The group is hungry for more and are helping propel my creativity. They also buoy my spirits against the ugliness of the publishing business.

I explained that I was having a hard time with meeting my own stringent writing deadlines because of other important demands on my time - like the Women's Conference I'm speaking at tomorrow. I confessed that I am very nervous and am afraid that I will make a fool of myself. I know my material and I can speak in public but I'm so distracted by the amount of ED material taking up my mental space that I feel unprepared to switch gears. These sweet friends reassured me with specific examples of prior triumphs that I will do fine tomorrow.

And then they went above and beyond...we're going to carpool tomorrow morning and they'll be my personal cheerleaders. Tonight we're going to have a pep rally. I'm going over to set up my visual display and a few of them are going to come along and help. They don't think their decorating advice is necessary but it helps to calm my nerves.

There is strength in numbers, but inner strength is even more powerful. Women are good at reflecting what's divine about one another and that's what true girl power is all about! Which brings me to my quote of the day from the Beatles song "With a Little Help From My Friends." These girlfriends wouldn't walk out on me if I sang out of tune (no, they would stay and laugh BUT they'd be there for me!) Besides they all know I can't sing. We should do some Spice Girl karaoke some night. Sing it with me:

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

I really wanna know what the heck 'zigazig ha' means! I don't think the Spice Girls are smart enough to know that it is a command for show dogs to strut, do you?

Award-Whining Journalism

On the Jukebox: "I Wish I Cared" by A-ha
Mood: Needs Improvement & Chocolate!
Quote: "Oh look everything's back to normal. Now what?" ~ Lost
Flair: What I'm Selling

NEWS FLASH: I've officially reached the half way point in the Ethereal Dreamer (ED) Trilogy. WOOT!!! If all goes well I may regain my sanity and establish healthy sleeping patterns by Christmas. One of my uber fans asked me what my next writing project will be. I laughed. I think it's time I recycle some of my shorter stories and stay away from long, complicated, supernatural sagas. I've got several Blogs that need overhaulin' - now that's some journalism worth noticing...

I hope with ED, I will have resolved the various story lines satisfactory without going saccharine. I don't want to pull a Stephenie Meyer and 'jump the shark' - in my humble opinion Twilight would have been a much better series if she stuck to her original idea. There was money to be made and she caved to the pressure of the agents and publishers. Then they didn't pull the reigns in on her to stop her from ending it so badly. What an anti climatic disappointment. Awck! Let me be clear - if killing Jerusha or Simon is what it takes to keep my artistic integrity - then by golly gumdrops that's what I'll do!

There is one thing that concerns me: the curse of overnight success. Look what it did to Margaret Mitchell. She felt she could never top the popularity of Gone With the Wind so she was afraid to even try. I do not want to be a one hit wonder, but nor do I wish to crank out drivel. What's a gal to do? I guess I should have a chat with J.K. and see what she's up to. I hear that pseudonyms are a good way to go. At least I know if all else fails, I can be the next Anita Stansfield, ummm... thank you?

Writer's Cramp

On the Jukebox: "Steppin' Out" by Joe Jackson
Mood: Meh
Quote:"Be like the bird, that pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings." Victor Hugo
Flair: Like it or Not...

Today I woke up with a bad case of Writer's cramp. That's when my brain is so full of information there is no way that my fingers can keep up with the speed of my thoughts. I am eager to start the information dump so that I can rest my poor arthritic joints. I don't think my fingers are supposed to make more noise than the keyboard. Maybe it would help if I did some sort of warm up exercises or wore my fingerless gloves more often. They are cold and not cooperating as well I would like. Today I vow to get ED:Double Deuce completed. I'm excited to write the final two chapters of this section because readers have been waiting for this plot point for over 1000 pages now. I've been waiting since day one of my writing to get here which will mark the half way point of the entire trilogy. Well... on with the show!

Wisdom AND Order

On the Jukebox: "Libby" by Carly Simon
Mood: About the same...
Quote: "You just had one of those 'I glued a bird to my head' days." ~ Forget Paris
Flair: Work to Do

Universal truth #87 Things should be done in wisdom and order.

Have you ever tried to do things out of order? It doesn't work well. I'm not saying that it's impossible. I've managed to put my pants on after putting on my shoes. It took a lot more effort and wasn't nearly as efficient as I hoped it would be. It would have been better to take off my shoes, then put on my pants, then put my shoes back on - but I was in a hurry and thought it was a brilliant idea.

Life is like that sometimes. We get in such a hurry that it seems like a good idea to take shortcuts in order to catch up on work or make time to accomplish the things we need to do. I'm all for efficiency, but it requires common sense too. The phrase work smarter not harder comes to mind. It is possible to multi task, but often because we are so busy doing so much nothing really gets accomplished.

Yes, we can run a load of laundry, brown some ground beef for dinner, and load the dish washer while we are waiting on hold with the insurance company - that's efficient multi tasking. Then there's the kind that makes it worse - the "dump everything from the kitchen counter into a pile of the family room floor to be sorted into new piles while you catch up on taped episodes of NCIS and Monk" kind of multi tasking. Let me tell you, that pile does get sorted but it would have been more efficient to throw half the stuff away the day it arrived in the mail. So what if you save 18 minutes per episode because you fast forwarded through the commericals? You should have been walking on your treadmill while watching TV. That's where wisdom comes into the equation.

It is wise to wear both pants and shoes. It is wise to be efficient. It is wise to do things in the correct order. It is wise to finish Book 2 before starting Book 3. You get the idea, right? Take time to think things through before acting. For example, it's probably a good idea to have a job before deciding to pack up and move someplace or start the rumor mill in the neighborhood. Just a thought... call me crazy, but I don't recommend frosting a cake before you bake it either!

Cosmic Mulligan

On the Jukebox: "Ready to Take a Chance Again" by Barry Manilow
Mood: Can I have a do-over?
Quote: "Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring."
Flair: Don't Drive Angry!

Mulligan: a second chance; in a game, happens when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action. An unpenalized chance to re-take a stroke that went awry.

I remember seeing the movie "Groundhog Day" in the theater the year it came out. It's one of my all time favorite movies. It made we wish for two things simultaneously. The first was that I could have a magical 6 weeks to learn the piano or a foreign language or whatever without having to worry about daily responsibilities. The second was for an annual cosmic mulligan every February 2nd. Basically, you would get a free do-over of whatever idiotic thing you did in the past year.

I'm not exactly sure what I would do over each year, but I'm sure there'd be something. Maybe it would be something little like forgetting to check to make sure I was hitting the 'forward' button instead of the 'reply' to button before making some snarky comment on an email. Doh! (yes, I've actually done that one with a former boss but she thought it was funny.) or maybe it would be packing lighter so my luggage doesn't get fined or remembering to get my car serviced before the transmission goes. You get the idea...

Everyone has some sort of regret that they wish they could remedy. Wouldn't a cosmic mulligan be a good solution?

A Woman's Heart

On the Jukebox: "A Woman's Heart" by Jenny Jordan Frogley
Mood: Tenderhearted
Quote: "Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad Snow!"
Flair: Lofty Goals

Today was the annual Visiting Teaching appreciation night. It was really a wonderful evening filled with the spirit. I enjoyed the talks and the reminder of how no matter how different we are in our diversities as women, we have more in common because of our love for the Savior and role in the kingdom. I wanted to laugh when Rachael's solo made everyone cry because I was pleased to know I wasn't the only boob there. It was a very tender moment. I am grateful for the inspired organization of the Relief Society and for visiting teachers who are in tune with the needs of their sisters. Just a little note of appreciation for that special nurturing gift that belongs to women.

A Woman’s Heart (lyrics)

Morning comes and finds her on her knees
The Spirit speaks and she is listening
She offers everything her soul can give
To make a difference through the life she lives
Her faith holds her family close
She understands what matters most
Her gentle touch is where love starts
That’s the way of a woman’s heart

She’s the keeper of the vision
She’s a beacon in the night
A teacher and defender of the truth
And everything she touches
Bears the traces of her light
She’s faithful to
What God Himself would do

She’s a friend to the lonely and the lost
Every day another bridge to cross
Her hands of mercy know the healer’s art
That’s the way of a woman’s heart

Evening comes and finds her on her knees
She speaks and He is listening
With sweet assurance that she’s done her part
She weeps in His peace
And that’s the way of a woman’s heart