On the Jukebox: "Red Red Wine" by UB40
Quote: "I wish I was as weird as you!" ~ Lady in White
Flair: Let's be honest...
Let's indulge briefly into the double meaning of some words:
Intoxicating:
1: heady: extremely exciting as if by alcohol or a narcotic
2: poisonous
Intoxicated:
1: stupefied by a chemical substance (especially alcohol)to the point where physical and mental control is markedly diminished b: to excite or elate to the point of enthusiasm or frenzy.
I'm all for an interesting compliment such as is found in the movie, "Lady in White" as quoted above or in the lyrics of the Gillespie song, "You Go to My Head":
You go to my head and you linger like a haunting refrain
And I find you spinning 'round in my brain
Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne
You go to my head like a sip of sparkling Burgundy brew
And I find the very mention of you
Like the kicker in a julep or two
You go to my head with a smile that makes my temperature rise
Like a summer with a thousand Julys
You intoxicate my soul with your eyes
Such comparison of my womanly wiles to an alcoholic beverage is acceptable since it is poetic and not literal. No woman wants to hear "My gal is a Babeweiser!" It's not poetic, it's just stupid. In fact, drunken people should refrain from making poetic comparisons of any kind. I do not make it a practice to hang out with inebriated people who try to sweet talk others, but occasionally I have no choice. Such is the tale of Mojito Pete O.
Last June my husband, UT-BFF Bertha, and I were flying home from our trip to North Carolina. We had lots of excitement. Planes with mechanical problems, cancelled flights, delayed flights, and long lines waiting for hotel room vouchers. On a packed flight to Denver (which wasn't on our original itinerary) we encountered a man that should be a regular feature on SNL.
Bertha and I discovered that he had the seat right in between ours. He was busy putting his stuff into the over head bin but it kept falling out and that made him laugh... a lot. We asked if he would be so kind as to trade with one of us. It became instantly clear that this man was three sheets to the wind. First he offered us each a stick of Orbit Mojito gum to combat our 'airplane breath.' Okay... then before the plane took off he called the flight attendant twice for spirits which she refused to give him. He tried to talk with us for a while but couldn't hold onto a train of thought. He put his i-Pod on and rocked out but again couldn't remember what song he was listening to.
Later, between naps or blackouts, he tried to get served more rum. I believe he summoned the attendant a total of 8 times. When she refused to give him more than the 2 bottles because of the law he got unpleasant and threatened to sue. She threatened him with the sky marshall and he backed down. Later he tried another tactic, flattery. To this day I think it's one of the funniest things I've heard because nobody in his right mind what have said it. This poor lady brought some back up with her to firmly tell him that he could not have any more to drink. When she said no, his response was, "But your face is so rectangular." You have to imagine this as though Daffy Duck said it with a drunken lisp.
So kids, my thought is be intoxicating not intoxicated. The way you choose to use your words will make others believe that you are enchanting or that you are a drunken ass, and the only person who can get away with being both is Bottom the weaver in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream.
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