I am Wonder Woman

On the Jukebox: "Wonderwall" by Oasis
Quote: "I wonder wonder wonder who wrote the book of love" ~ the Monotones
Flair: Classy

I am Wonder Woman sans the red boots and starred panties. I wonder about stuff all the time. Naturally it's random stuff but it keeps me up at night. Why is it that I think about such *deep* things right before bed?

Is there another word for synonym? Would it be thesaurus? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Why is the alphabet in that order? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? Is there anything scarier than an open mike poetry reading?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Why does sour cream have an expiration date? If you lick a fly swatter will it kill you?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? If you see an old guy in a sexy grandpa t-shirt should you run?

Is it possible to be totally partial? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Do married people live longer than single people or does it just seem longer?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

And in case you were wondering what it is I wonder about as I wander: I wonder where I parked my darn invisible jet - whose bright idea was it to make it invisible?