Forget the Whales, Save the Chick Flicks

On the Jukebox: "That's All" by Michael Buble
Mood: Still hungover from the Strawberry 'Snort' Cake
Quote:"Back off Death! I'm not done living!" ~ Big Fat Liar
Flair: Snow Day

There's something I miss almost as much as scripted comedy and that's a real chick flick. It seems there has been a shortage of quality lady films in the past few years. January-February is the time that the movie industry refers to as 'Chick Flick' season. I can only imagine it's because all the Oscar contenders come out around the big holidays and action films in the summer and there is this little romance holiday known as "St. Valumtimes' Day" that make men feel obligated to get their yearly dose of celluloid-delivered estrogen. When I talk about chick flicks I mean specifically Romance - not girlfriend movies like Fried Green Tomatoes, Joy Luck Club, Steel Magnolias, or League of Their Own.

Romances should contain some combinations of the following ingredients: A plucky but nearly average heroine, a pretty dress or other Cinderella moment, exotic or historical location, heartfelt and tender moment, a big house with a moonlit garden, a ball or romantic party, a song from the Great American Songbook, a handsome, intelligent man in need of rescuing but who is not damaged goods, some tragic misunderstanding or act of nature that keeps the couple apart, yada yada... NOTE: most chick flicks end with first kiss or wedding. The love appears to be chaste and not founded on lustful attraction.

Truthfully, I don't think that real men mind chick movies because they understand the payoff that comes with allowing a woman to view a romantic fantasy. What men mind is the ball-bashing she-woman man-haters club that appear to be writing the majority of said films lately. In the last few wannabe chick flicks that I've seen there are very few men who aren't emasculated by a woman who is superior to him in every way. Real chick flicks require a sensitive and strong male lead. I can't even begin to say how disappointed I am. Perhaps revealing that I haven't purchased a DVD for my lady films collection since Enchanted (and before that I can't remember!) may shed some light on the issue.

Last night I watched a movie that I found to be depressing. There was no love story even though it was on the Encore Love channel and starred an actress who primarily is cast in such roles. I hated it completely. Listen people, jumping into bed with your dead fiance's friend does not mean happily ever after! I want Mr. Darcy or at least my Joe Fox! "Okay, Soquel, name a few real chick flicks so we can understand what you mean." Well if you insist...

REAL CHICK MOVIES: You've Got Mail, Sabrina, 13 Going on 30, Just Like Heaven, The Lake House, Everafter, Sense and Sensibility, Sleepless In Seattle, Emma, Last Holiday, Miss Congeniality, Notting Hill, Never Been Kissed, My Best Friend's Wedding, 50 First Dates, Somewhere in Time, Legally Blonde, Little Women, Blast From the Past, Shall We Dance (Japanese version), Becoming Jane, Roman Holiday, A Room With a View, The Princess Bride, While You Were Sleeping, Clueless, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Penelope

NOT A CHICK MOVIE: Titanic, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Devil Wears Prada, Alex and Emma, Catch and Release, Pride & Prejudice (Kira Knightly version), Moulin Rouge, Little Black Book, A Knight's Tale, Gone With the Wind, Grease, Dirty Dancing,The English Patient, Hope Floats, Runaway Bride, the Wedding Planner, Picture Perfect, The Wedding Date, Stardust, Age of Innocence

SPLIT JURY: What Women Want, Moonstruck, Pretty Woman, The Notebook, Ghost, Pretty in Pink, Life or Something Like it, Forget Paris, Out of Africa, City of Angels, Meet Joe Black, Sweet Home Alabama, Can't Buy Me Love, Love Potion #9, Dance With Me

I've left teen films like modern What a Girl Wants, A Cinderella Story, Drive Me Crazy, She's the Man, 10 Things I Hate About You, and She's All That off my list because teenager females are a different animal entirely. I don't think I'll find a teenage girl who doesn't love Twilight - don't even get me started on that one! I'm for Team Edward Scissorhands!