On the Jukebox: "November Rain" by Guns N' Roses
Mood: Tolerable
Quote: "For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?" ~ Jane Austen
Flair: Deluded singer
As stated previously, I'm the sort of person who enjoys observing others. At one time I considered becoming a psychologist and getting paid to observe and figure out people. It wasn't until after I got my degree that I concluded that most of us are a little crazy and that the truly mad people aren't fun to observe. So now I enjoy high-definition cable assisted voyeurism via reality TV shows. I never feel guilty about this because these people put their issues on display for the entire world. It's the equivalent of sticking a "Kick Me" sign on yourself.
I know that American Idol is a popular show but I've never watched a full season. It's too tame. I only watch the audition process because it's where the crazies are. Now I think quite a few people go on there intentionally trying to be the worst or most bizarre so that they will get air time. It's like a college frat house prank or something. But then there are those who have friends who have lied to them and now they are convinced that they are good at singing. Sadness! Perhaps more tragic (and much funnier) are those who have deluded themselves.
When the judges tell them the harsh truth (no honey no!) they have varying reactions. Some beg: "But this is my dream!", or "I know you can teach me to be the greatest singer in the world." or "I was just nervous, give me three more chances..." and then there are those who tell off the judges: "God will punish you." or "You'll be sorry when I'm famous." or "You don't know jack squat!" I feel sorry for the ones that had family members who tried to tell them and they took it as lack of support. What happens when they go home? Do they get a shoulder to cry on or the "I told you so" lecture?
What does this have to do with me? First of all I would never go on reality TV. I love to watch Survivor and Top Design but no way am I going to expose myself to ridicule via national television. I do a good job of embarrassing myself on a local level. I'm quite legendary at it. Which brings me to question, do I have friends that lie to me to spare my feelings??? I already know that I can't sing. But do they tell me I'm a fabulous writer when I'm audaciously mediocre? Hmmm... I am not so sure. There are many who look at me as though I am some uber talented alien from outer space. I think they secretly hate me but would gloat if they knew I can't even make Kool-aid. I also have friends who see me as an expert or authority on anything and everything. Yes, I'm brilliant. My GPA is a 3.98 (whoopee) but there are lots of things I know nothing about.
About two years ago an associate of mine asked if I would read his book because he knew I have undisputed wonderful taste and plenty of knowledge about literary type stuff. I said yes and boy did I regret it - because I believe in being honest. He enthusiastically handed me 250 pages of nonsense. I gallantly made an effort. I survived 17 pages of single spaced (gallies are supposed to be double spaced)text with no punctuation. There was no way to tell what was supposed to be dialogue and what was description. His plot was thin - a Harry Potter meets James Bond in a Clancy universe type story that he hoped to make a series. "No honey no!" I handed him back the 17 pages with notes and corrections and an example of proper formatting and told him I'd be happy to take another look once he got the mechanics corrected.He never asked me for help again. Hmmm...
I had another friend whose manuscript had already had an offer and when she let me read it I handed her 12 pages of notes on her book. She was hurt but also grateful. I caught lots of errors in continuity. (a man that turns into a woman within the space of three paragraphs) and asked questions about her character's motivations and the plausibility of the conflict. I liked her story and my notes were designed to be constructive criticism. She told me later how mad she was but then how after thinking it through she was grateful that someone had been honest with her. It was what she had been seeking from family and friends who were ill equipped for the job.
These two examples bring me back to my own work. Am I deluded that I can sell a book where the protagonist goes off to BYU and is pursued by serial killers with an axe to grind against her long dead ancestors? It sounds almost as bad as that kid spy novel doesn't it? Yet I have solicited various test readers who say they really like it. Are they the liars that let their friends go on reality TV shows? Or am I one of those who people who auditions that is surprised by the sincere delight of the judges because they recognize a great talent? Sometimes I don't know but more often I don't care. Now friends out there that have read my book, remember it's okay to say 'No, honey no!' just be prepared to back it up with examples which do not include this Blog.
2 comments:
I pretty much stick with the first couple of weeks of America Idol, too. I feel a bit guilty for laughing at the nuts! Good luck with your writing!
I've read many manuscripts, or bits & pieces thereof, that were just wretchedly bad. I gave some constructive criticism, and they ignored me because I obviously didn't know what I was talking about. But my best friend Clover took the criticsm to heart, studied grammar and punctuation, joined a group where she was able to give & receive criticism. Now she's had a novel & a novella published, and may have an agent for an excellent YA she's written. I admire her so much for deciding that her dream was worth the work.
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