On the Jukebox: "Rock Lobster" by the B-52's
Mood: tense
Quote: "Give ya a dollar if ya shut that dude's tank." ~ J.T. '07
Flair: OK!
Have you ever had someone who thought it was amusing to see you suffer? I'm not talking about a sadistic boss who heaps on the extra work just hours before you're supposed to take a vacation. That's a natural boss type thing. No, I'm talking about a person whose supposed to have your back and for some reason takes advantage of your trusting nature and the fact that you don't believe in killing. I'm talking about a spouse who delights in scaring you because they think it's hilarious when you jump a mile high or almost pee yourself.
I've had several EKGs in the past few years and Doctors (what do they know?) tell me I have a strong heart. This is great news except that I get severe chest pains and shortness of breath on a regular basis. I'm afraid that one day I'll actually suffer a heart attack and my husband will find that amusing too. I ask him repeatedly not to sneak up on me, but the guy's part ninja. I'm going to buy a cowbell and put it around his neck. I mean I put belled collars on my cats and they don't scare me, so there's something to that.
The issue stems from the fact that I get so into my work - especially writing or research, that I tend to block out other stimuli. This means I don't hear distractions like my cell phone, door bell, TV in the family room, hungry cats, or the garage door opening. The only sound I hear is the clickity clicking of my keyboard as I work and occasionally a little background music. Then without sudden warning my husband will materialize at my side and whisper "What are you doing?" or something of the like into my ear and I nearly bite my tongue off. He walks away very satisfied. I wish I could say that one scare a day was enough or that I would learn to be more vigilant. Just when I let me guard down and think the coast is going to be clear he'll appear like clockwork.
It's a gift, but it gives me the jibblies. I've noticed that the streak of gray in my hair has become more pronounced in the past few years. I'm sure there's a connection. My only consolation is that I've recently concluded that he acts out in this manner because he misses me and comes to remind me that he exists or maybe that his food dish is empty. (It's what the cats do.)
2 comments:
It's a very "Calvin and Hobbs" thing to do. Ha! I can totally see him doing it and the smug look on his face when he walks away. Too funny!
I loved your last line! And I had to tell you that my husband tried that ONCE, soon after we were married. I got whiplash so bad, my back has bothered me ever since, and having kids has made it so much worse. I think he has felt sufficiently guilty about it, so I try not to heap coals on his head...most of the time.
Post a Comment