Broken Hearted Monsters

On the Jukebox: "Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley
Quote: "... perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke (excerpt from Letters to a Young Poet)
Flair: Sticks and Stones

I've decided that "The Formative Years" will be the theme to this week's posts...

Did you ever read that adolescent tear jerker "Bridge to Terabithia"? I read it when I was in the 4th grade and it changed my outlook on one particular thing: Bullies. In the novel, Janice Avery is the school bully who routinely steals little kids' lunches and charges fees to use the bathroom. The young protagonists get even with her and turn her into the laughing stalk of the school. The triumph is short lived when they later discover that Janice is the way she is because she is bullied by an abusive father at home.

Perhaps it was the timing of when I read the book. I was popular and secure in my identity. I had plenty of school chums and no fear of riding the bus. My experience with bullies was limited and my mother taught me how to turn them into friends. Little did I know that a short time later I would come to dread the words, "Seat's taken!" and would actually have a school assembly called where the principal paraded my brothers and me up on stage and declared that, "No one is allowed to go near these white children!" (That's a story for another day...)

I went from living in Mormon-majority St. George, Utah to middle-of-nowhere, poverty stricken Vacherie, LA where I learned a lesson in reverse discrimination. Besides me and my 3 brothers, there were five other white kids (mostly special ed) and a Puerto Rican family. The school was called 6th Ward (and deserved its prison title.) It was as a 6th grader that I endured threats by scissor wielding bullies who wanted to cut my long blonde hair off.

Almost without exception these attacks were brought on by simple misunderstandings. I had a hard time comprehending the local slang and accents and they didn't like my Yankee-girl speak. It didn't change when a semester later I transferred to a better school forty minutes away in Luling. There again language differences got me in trouble, coupled with trying to readjust to being allowed near other children again.

Sometimes we'll never know why we were singled out for attack. Was it our looks or manner of dressing? Something we said or did? The fact that the bully's secret crush showed interest in you even if you didn't reciprocate? And is verbal harassment considered an acceptable form of hazing for new students? Should you just shut up and take it or is that how school shootings happen?

Because of my meek mannered nature, I became the victim of bullies the rest of my school days. Mostly it was teasing, prank calls, and perceived threats... but there were physical blows on a few occasions. I remember being terrified of a girl in my new school who would stand behind me in the lunch line and whisper threats about catching me on my way home. The weird thing is that her rosy cheeked sidekick seemed genuinely sweet. How could someone that angelic hang out with the devil?

It didn't compute, so I knew that there had to be something more to this bully who I'll call 'Chris' (because I had more bullies called Christine, Christy, Christopher, or Chrissy, than any other name.) Chris stood a foot taller than me. Maybe that made her feel like a freak. I was short for a 6th grader but she'd be tall even for a 8th grader. She had a weird last name... that sounded like something a Russian spy might be called. Who knows? Maybe Chris was jealous of my petite build and generic sounding name. I only knew that when I looked at her I saw someone who seemed sad and troubled. She was a broken hearted monster that needed love not pitch forks.

After Chris continued to breathe out more threats I went to the school office to ask for help. I didn't want to tell them who the person bullying me was. I just wanted some advice. I was sure that I could save myself from a beating and help Chris without getting her in trouble. Instead the counselor made my teacher write down the names of the suspected bullies and I had to go to counseling with them (which didn't help me make a lot of friends.) Incidentally, the reason why Chris wanted to beat the tar out of me was she heard me remark that, "she spits in my hair" when what I said was, "gets in my hair" which is a Western term for annoying me. Of course the accent is to blame... and the fact that I hadn't learned to censor myself. From her side of the room Chris used to stare at me with her eyes narrowed to slits and that annoyed/ perturbed me.

If only all bully issues could be solved that easily. Chris and I called a truce. We were never friends and she still treated me with passive aggressive hostility in junior high, but by that time I had a whole new batch of bullies to deal with. Being Latter-day Saint meant that I got lots of anti-Mormon literature poked through my locker vents. I'm sure some of the kids were well meaning but ignorant, but some enjoyed writing "Burn in Hell!!!" on the pamphlets. There were plenty of nasty rumors and pranks that made me contemplate suicide on more than one occasion.

Probably the most ironic part of this post is that the one person I bullied was named 'Kris' and he was the only person newer than me in the school. Someone called him 'Kris the cockroach.' It caught on, but when I tried to use that cruel nickname they turned on me and said I couldn't call him names. I'll never forget the hurt look in his eyes - the betrayal by his only ally. I'm still sorry for it and apologized repeatedly to him. I was trying to fit in at his expense. I was a broken hearted monster that just wanted the approval of her peers and to make a friend.

I'm grateful that I learned empathy at an early age because it taught me to see the good in people. Now that I'm an adult with psychology training I've learned new insight into some of the troubled souls who tortured me. The truth is I have yet to meet anyone who loved their junior high experience. It was a formative time for our identities. We were all fighting hard battles and sometimes the true casualties can only be numbered in hindsight.

For anyone who saw me then as a monster, please forgive me and reframe your impression to see me as Frankenstein's creature longing for sympathy, but was shunned by everyone. That thought brings me back to my quote by Rilke - aren't all monsters really in need of help? As you encounter monsters in your daily life try viewing them as something helpless in need of your help and see if you can transform them into the truly heavenly creatures they are. Embrace the divine spark in everyone you meet. If we should meet again in person I will greet you with Namaste! 'All that is best and highest in me greets/salutes all that is best and highest in you.'

"Your Life as a Movie" Meme

On the Jukebox: "Movies" by Morten Harket (of a-ha)
Quote: "That sounds like a chick movie to me!" ~ Sleepless in Seattle
Flair: MErmaid MElody

Would it be a blockbuster or straight to DVD?
It won't be memorable at the box office but will have a surprisely huge cult following when released to DVD and played every 6 months on TBS.

What would you name it?
"Writer of Wrongs: Dork Queen Rising"

What kind of movie would it be (Drama, comedy, horror, romance, etc.)?
A lighthearted dramedy suitable for the entire family.

Where would it be shot?
On various locations in the United States.

What would be the movie's theme song?
"Back the Way It Used to Be (Dottie's point of view)" by Carly Simon

What 3 songs would you choose to play during the credits?
"Melody of You" by Sixpence None the Richer, "Book of Dreams" by Suzanne Vega, and "Over the Rainbow" by Eva Cassidy

What movie style would it be?
"Forget Paris" meets "The Wonder Years" with a snarky female narrator.

Who would you choose to play you?
Multiple actresses at different ages but Tea Leoni for the more mature version of myself.

Who would you choose to play your parents?
Carrie Fisher and Tom Selleck

Who would you choose to play your friends?
There would be multiple actors for each friend due to span of years it would cover.

What would be the main theme of the movie?
A coming of age voyage of self discovery: The plucky spirit triumphs and achieves her dreams.

Any funny moments?
Plenty of them will be funny and poignant.

Any fights?
Just comical sibling swabbles.

Any love interests?
A few ill fated crushes and one true love.

Any sad moments?
Of course because they give stark contrast and sense of harmony to the happier ones.

How would it end?
Happily ever after with a couple riding a lawnmower off into the sunset (wait... has that already been done?)

In a Perfect World

On the Jukebox: "Gabriel's Oboe" from "The Mission" Soundtrack
Quote: "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." ~ Mother Teresa
Flair: Peaceful Planet

I love the song "Nella Fantasia" which is an adaptation by Sarah Brightman of "Gabriel's Oboe" and has been sung by Celtic Woman, Il Divo, and Amiche. The words are full of transcendental beauty and peaceful imagery. Below is the English translation.

In my fantasy

In my fantasy I see a just world,
Where everyone lives in peace and honesty.
I dream of souls that are always free
Like the clouds that float
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.

In my fantasy I see a bright world
Where each night there is less darkness.
I dream of spirits that are always free,
Like the clouds that float

In my fantasy exists a warm wind,
That blows into the city, like a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the clouds that float
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.



I've been reflecting on these lyrics as I watch the events unfolding in island nation of Haiti, which was devastated by an earthquake on January 12th. It made me proud to see how quickly the other nations of the world rushed to their aid. The Haitian motto is "Strength through Unity" and I think we've proven once again that we're at our best when we look past labels of citizenship, race, or religious beliefs and instead see one another as fellow inhabitants of God's glorious world.

It always fills me with joy to know that my hours of service are going to those who will most appreciate it. I am easing their burdens and bringing them comfort in some small way - small things with great love! I love volunteering with other members of the Relief Society to create quilts and put together hygiene kits and school supply bags. It humbles me to reflect on how blessed I am that I don't know hunger and that my temporal needs are continually met.

I am grateful for an education, a job, for the freedom to worship and exercise civic duties and a nation of abundance. Lately, it seems that our news has been focusing on the recession and how we're a bunch of "have-nots." While it's true that once again we forfeited Christmas gifts in our home due to economic challenges, we were blessed for that small sacrifice. Giving so that children don't go without is much more rewarding to me than a new bathrobe or a Blueray player. It is good for us all to remember that to most of the world we "average Americans" are the "other half" who have it so good. Please remember to be grateful for what you have and thank our Father in Heaven for it, pray for those less fortunate than you, and then do something to lift their burdens... if we all do this then it won't just be "In My Fantasy."

RANT #439

On the Jukebox: "Barbie Girl" by Aqua
Quote: "You'll like Amy. She's an artist!" ~ Barbie in Toy Story 2
Flair: Deep Thought

SOQUEL’S RANTS: #439 THE TERRORIST CONSPIRACY


This YouTube playlist goes along with the items I discuss in case you want to see any of the commericals or spoofs...

Listen friends, waxing nostalgic is never a good idea. It only leads to disillusionment and heartbreak. Try very hard to resist going back and revisiting things you fondly cherish. Sometimes seeing them through mature eyes will make you cynical. Here's what happened to me the other night.

I was thinking about how great some of the commercials from my childhood were - especially one from 1986 for Nestlé’s Alpine Chocolate that features Maxfield Parrish inspired MTV videography of white clad ballet dancers, a cellist on a mountain top, white horses running in the snow, and other beautiful imagery, and a ballad style jingle sung by Sophie B. Hawkins. I decided to check out You Tube to see if by chance it was out there. Indeed it was, and much to my great enjoyment all 4 versions of the commercial are there and as pretty as I remembered them (through my romantic 15 yr old eyes.) I hate white chocolate but I felt oh so glamorous when I would buy one of these bars. The marketing works, especially on the naïve. Now we know why the Parrish's painting is called Ecstacy – duh, there was chocolate involved!

I should have stopped while I was ahead. But I foolishly wandered further down memory lane and watched Matt LeBlanc (of Friend's fame) in my favorite Cherry 7-up ad "Isn't it cool in pink?" oh, yes! yes, it is handsome anonymous boy of my 16 yr old fantasies. Newsflash Matt: I was over you before my 17th b-day but I was still in love with my Guess overalls which were also featured in this commercial. I totally rocked that look.

Then the McDonald's McDLT commercials with Jason Alexander (Seinfeld.) How did we ever want to eat that stuff? Gross! Gag me with a pitchfork. I’m not even going to link to this ad because I know some of you still eat at Mickey Dee’s steakhouse. I should have stopped there but it was like a bad train wreck, I couldn't resist the temptation to look. Then on to the cartoon clips (Smurfs, the Littles, Rainbow Brite, GI Joe, He-man, etc) and toy commercials of my childhood. Here's where I realized adults suck! They ruin childhood for children with their capitalist swine ways.

I was happily enjoying the recap of all the Barbie products I owned from Peaches and Cream Barbie to the Dream House that took me three years of allowance to save for. I remember the girl power anthem jingle of the 80's "We girls can do anything, right Barbie?" This was the era where Barbie quit being a teen fashion model and grew up. She went to college, she became an astronaut, a school teacher, a Wall Street power broker/yuppie, a summit diplomat, a doctor (not just a 1960's candy striper), and owned her vet practice, fashion boutique, and jet. She even dabbled in the music scene for a bit with her band called Barbie and the Rockers (creative, no?) Yes, they were to put the ca-bash on the latest of Barbie contenders, Gem and the Holograms. Ah the happy times of the big 80's. Barbie was still queen of the fashion dolls, leaving people to ask Darci, Candi, and Gem who?

Apparently the Think Tank at Mattel decided to sit around resting on their laurels (which showed they were wearing them on the wrong end) and do nothing in the 90's. Yes, Barbie did run for President and had the most beautiful 'old glory' inspired inaugural ball gown but then she decided to sell out. The think tank decided to give Ken his first makeover in 15 years by piercing his ear. We should have known it was over. Oh, Ken! How could you leave your first job as a soda jerk to become a biker? We should have seen it coming since you could never commit to marriage.

This is the decade where Barbie decided clothes that had her own Barbie brand label were no longer cool and sold out to Benetton, Gap, JoeBoxer, SpongeBob, and yes, even Jell-o? I ask you, would J-Lo ever give up wearing her own clothes line in favor of Jell-o? I don't think so! What were you thinking Mattel Think Tank? Or better question, what were you smoking? Spokeswoman Barbie says, "I love America, now buy more crap! I recommend Coca Cola, Jell-o, Build a Bear workshop, NASCAR, Shrek, and Sponge bob! Selling out is the American way."

It used to be a dream of mine to grow up and design clothes for Barbie. I even made a removable mermaid tale for my doll back in 1980. I was way ahead of the trends curve. I planned to give her a collection of princess gowns, masquerade costumes, and redo her love boat disco dresses. She also was going to lose the blue eye shadow and bleach blonde hairdo in favor of real people coloring. When she started out in 1959 she was not a dumb blonde. No, that came in the '70's when she decided to briefly flirt with dirty hippies. Check out the meticulous detailing in the original Barbie fashions. They were beautiful. Remember, Barbie was the first fashion doll, inspired by a little girl’s love of paper dolls. Check out the lyrics to the first jingle below. Now that is classy stuff.

Barbie you're beautiful, you make me feel my Barbie doll is really me.
Barbie's small and so petite her clothes and figure look so neat
For dancing, at the rink, and bell, at parties she will cast a spell
Purses, hats, and gloves galore, and all the gadgets gals adore
Someday I'm gonna to be exactly like you til then I know just I'll do.
Barbie, beautiful Barbie, I'll make believe that I am you.
"You can tell it's Mattel it's swell"

Well, I used to think Ken getting his lobe pierced with a Goth cross, or Barbie hocking Jell-o was bad. But Barbie 2000 hit all new lows. The Mattel Think Tank decided to aim it's marketing at ages 3-6 because market research showed tween girls weren't interested in dolls anymore. So Barbie became grounded in unreality. Suddenly you couldn't buy a Barbie unless she was a mermaid, fairy, princess, or babysitter for her more popular younger sibling Kellie. Every year Kellie was getting more of Barbie's shelf space and commercial air time. What's a gal to do?

At first I couldn't understand how this was happening. It took a fair amount of research to uncover how deep this conspiracy to ruin childhood actually goes. In 2001 the MGA CEO, an Iranian immigrant and possible terrorist, Isaac Larian designed and unleashed his new line of alien prostitutes with removable feet. Along with their halter tops, faux fur armlets, micro minis, and ankle-laced stiletto sandals, and they wear the sly, dozy expression of a party girl after one too many mojitos. One look at these Bratz and parents should have asked, "When did the doll section turn into the porn shop?" As parents, we're forced to make tough choices. But trying to explain to our five-year-old daughters why they shouldn't be playing with pretend porn-star or pole-dancing dolls shouldn't be one of the battles we face. Or am I off my rocker, folks?

I love this quote from a father of a daughter who he is determined will have an innocent childhood, "I have dark fantasies about tracking down the toy executives who green lighted this trend and give them a full body waxing followed by repeated water boarding treatments in a tank full of rubbing alcohol. That would not really be overkill, since it turns out this hypersexualization of girls' toys is entirely intentional." Amen brother, you do it and I’ll put it on YouTube.

True! You could never imagine a Bratz doll assuming any of the dozens of careers Barbie has pursued over the decades: not Business Executive or Surgeon -- not even Pan Am Flight Attendant or Pet Doctor. Bratz girls seem more like kept girls, or girls trying to convert a stint on reality TV into a future as the new Brittney or Lindsay or Paris. The American Psychological Association confirmed what we already knew. In short, exposure to all those commercials, movies, songs, toys and advertisements featuring scantily clad females is harmful to a young girl's emotional and physical health. The report was based on an analysis of some 300 studies over the past 18 months and indicated that these sexualized images can result in young girls viewing themselves as sex objects.

Parents rejoiced when Mattel decided to fight back. After all, Hot Wheels, Barbie, and the Fisher Price division are the corner stone of the company. For her loyalty Barbie would be saved right? Not exactly, they gave her a yet another makeover. Actually, a make under of sorts - a breast reduction and waist enlargement, all to help young girls feel better about themselves. Good job Mattel Think Tank! No Goth Barbie girls here please! Check out the awesomely realistic faux ad for Goth Barbie and her accessories. Say yes to unpublished poetry and Joy Division albums!

How could that not work? The Mattel Think Tank must have been stumped. They then sat around and thought about how they could do something even worse to poor Barbie. Let's see, we've given half her shelf space to Kellie Club stuff, how about another quarter of it to some Bratz rip-offs? Either that or turn her into a lesbian by dumping Ken and bringing in a new love interest, like Rosie O'Donnell. Let's do both. Brilliant! Let's call the Bratz rip-offs the Flavas and give them belly rings and tattoos. I love it! We'll model them after popular amoral singers like Lil Kim and Christine Aguilera. The box will convert to a graffiti street corner for them to loiter on. It will sell like hotcakes. Trust us!

But parents were disappointed that Mattel, a company they thought had higher standards, was involved in the creation of these street hoodlum dolls. In the past Mattel portray Barbie to girls as friends, mothers, and career women. Now the new "Flavas" depict being low-life individuals as something you can aspire to, which will cause young women to limit themselves and their future. Good job indeed you soulless corporate Mattel Think Tank. How's this for a slogan? "Mattel guides your kids towards Hell" Personally the funniest part of this failed campaign was that on the commercial for the Flavas dolls they actually say, "My shizzle’s gone fazizzle!" No, Really? Who would have seen that coming?

Well, Mattel must have realized two things through new market research. 1) tweens do still play with dolls if they are slutty enough and 2) cannibalizing Barbie's shelve space in stores was a very bad move. Sales plummeted all over the globe. What could they possibly do to compete? I know give Barbie another makeover. We'll make her a teen ager again and give her cool and tech savvy friends. We'll call them Myscene and lure back the parents who won't buy Bratz dolls for their kids. Barbie and all of her friends will each be multicultural and each have their own boyfriend. Yes, this could work; show how real high schoolers are. Sort of a Lizzie McGuire/Hilary Duff Barbie - hey why not make those too?

This might have worked in saving Mattel but the girls quickly went wild. When the Bratz formed the band Rock Angelz the myscene gang had to form a band called Urban Desire. What the heck? Later with a bad case of teen age rebellion or angst Barbie decides to change her name to Kennedy - anything to piss off mom and dad. The last Myscene Barbie was Bling Bling Barbie who decided to run away from home and turn tricks with her gal pals. So being bling means to cover yourself in body glitter, have itsy-bitsy naval exposing outfits that barely cover your other parts, and trashy-looking high-heeled boots and fishnet stockings.

Thought: With so many celebrities taking the way-too-sexy road these days, do really need our dolls/daughters following the same path? Wait what's this? A picture of the girls partying in the limo while their Hollywood madam does business? Let's check out the Myscene special guest star doll. Why yes, it is her, America's favorite fire crotch, Ms. Lindsay Lohan. This makes me wonder when the Paris Hilton doll will be issued. Who needs another 911? This is how terrorist are really destroying America. First they create Bratz and then they infiltrate Mattel and ruin Barbie - the All American Icon.

Poor Barbie, how far you've fallen! Perhaps your best and last hope is the devoted collectors of all things vintage or weird. But they buy you online and not at Wal-Mart or ToysRus anymore. As for your Wal-Mart purchasers, you're stuck with the horrible Mattel Think Tank and their new anal retentive boss, Mr. Peabody. He is the guy who finally potty trained Kellie and decided you need a cat box with clumping litter. Tinkle Time Kellie, isn’t that just freakin’ tender and all that crap?

You have gone from world renowned fashion model with a 1959 - I want to be you when I grow up campaign to this lovely little number.
B-A-R-B-I-E grrl, B-A-R-B-I-E grrl
So cute! Uh-oh excuse us!
You potty trained Tanner
Good Barbie grrl!

Forget the Ferrari & the designer shoes; a pooper scooper is the ultimate accessory!
Please Barbie, for American girls everywhere, I implore you to quit making Tanner eat her own poop. I know you're upset and using this last commercial as some sort of political protest but really you make me want to buy the Bratz doll that walks her dog because she is not into animal cruelty. Knock it off Barbie, you're freaking me out!!! I told you hocking Jell-o was a bad idea! So there you have it folks... Whatever you do, don't wax nostalgic or you're likely to end up angry with terrorists, feminists, and corporate think tanks in general.

Signed,

“The girl who got a new Barbie every year until her 30th birthday; which was about the time when Barbie got her boobs done & a peeing cat that looked like a wooly sheep.”


This is the last Barbie I actually bought. I got the brunette version with the grey blue eyes because she parts her hair on the side with bangs & sort of looked like me on Planet Plastic.

Inevitable Journey

On the Jukebox: "Friday I'm in Love" by Dryden Mitchell (50 First Dates Soundtrack)
Quote: "Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you are born to stand out?" ~ What a Girl Wants
Flair: & Swedish Fish!

It’s about time for another personal update. I always find these posts the most challenging to do because I feel like nothing in my life ever changes. Sure, the scenery may vary but there is always a lot of repeated drama and static. It’s like listening to a playlist of the same song by different artists; no matter how different the music is you’re still going to get tired of the lyrics.

The main theme for 2009 seemed to be “Journeys.” I was preparing for one, taking one, or just coming back from one. Some were sentimental but most involved actual mileage. Grant and I had decided back in December of 2008 that we would move to Las Vegas for his career. I didn’t foresee so many false starts and stops along the way. Here it is January of 2010 and we still aren’t settled. even though we are in Las Vegas. It took much longer to sell our house (and we got much less than we hoped) and it’s taking even longer to find one here.

We’ve had to make a lot of compromises. Some involved leaving our belongings in storage in Utah and taking up temporary living quarters in a furnished apartment. I also had to concede that I wouldn’t be able to get a house in my price range with a pool (unless it was in need of major repairs) within our timeframe. Sure, we almost had one until the sale of our house fell through in Utah. Now we’ve offered on a home without a pool that will suit our needs if not our dreams. If we get it, we won’t take possession of it until March. That’s another month and half of apartment dwelling.

Apartment dwelling is difficult. We’ve been so used to having a large bubble of privacy between us and our nearest neighbors. The first time my upstairs neighbor turned on her washer I thought it was in my apartment. Their big German shepherd, Lucifer aka ‘Lou’, likes to converse with everyone but especially in the wee hours of the morning when they leave him on the balcony. I hate hearing the 2nd and 3rd story tenant’s taking showers. The sound of running water interrupts my sleep, along with the whacking sound of razors being tapped against the shower surrounds, the clearing of nasal passages, and the few that sing.

I’m guilty of singing. I try hard not to do it since I’m rarely on key. I even try to make sure I don’t play my music too loud for those around me. But I need it loud! It filters out the sounds of the noisy carpet cleaning vans, the kitchen wall neighbors’ fights, and Lou’s twilight bark report to the Chihuahua across the complex. Naturally, the water delivery truck parks in front of our bedroom window and idles for fifteen minutes with a Spanish radio station playing only when Grant is on swings and trying to sleep.

This place stinks. It’s a combination of stale air and the dust and cigarette smoke from outside. It’s hard to be a gourmet without a hand mixer or a colander. “My kingdom… my kingdom for a Cuisinart!” I never thought I’d miss my rolling pin so much… or my snorkel, 13 Going On 30 DVD, sand tray, or toilet mop. I’m just saying being rootless without your own identity is hard and therefore my neighbors must suffer because misery loves company (and hopefully Joshua Bell.)

Allons-y!

On the Jukebox: "Hey! Ho! Let's Go!" by the Ramones
Quote: “Think you've seen it all? Think again. Outside those doors, we might see anything. We could find new worlds, terrifying monsters, impossible things. And if you come with me... nothing will ever be the same again!” ~ The Doctor
Flair: Dr. Who-lala

I read a lot of fiction. My perennial favorites are British Classic, Fantasy and Sci-Fi. I recently had a conversation with an old friend about why this type of literature is so appealing. We concluded it was because it is the ultimate form of escape. Who wants to watch a show or read a story about people who are exactly like them and dealing with the same mundane sort of problems? Wouldn't you rather fight dragons/aliens or make out with a sexy (possibly shirtless) pirate/werewolf/vampire/time lord? Oh yeah!

It seems these days the need to escape our bleak reality has become something of an epidemic. When Renaissance Faires and Comic-Con are not available, reading or watching movies are an easy way to do so. That’s the reason why “feel good” movies do so well at the box office. (BTW, did you know that the movie industry is one of the few recession proof work forces out there?) It is nourishing and uplifting to the soul to witness scenes of compassion, beauty, and truth. We all yearn for some idealized version of happiness, but we all have different ideas as to what constitutes this Utopia. I’d like to cite a few examples from recent pop culture.

Stephenie Meyer is an author whose talent isn’t equal to her immense appeal, yet her work has a fanatical cult like following. Women of all ages hunger for more of the romance she wove between an everyman, errr, everywoman and a handsome and flawed vampire bad boy in the Twilight series. I highly doubt the appeal is based on the fact that the romance is supernatural so much as it is based on the hero being as near to Mr. Darcy as the rising generation will ever come. Women want to categorize their love story as something out of a fairy tale with a man that goes to extraordinary measures to win her and protect her. Ladies, please take note that even women who find charming vampire husbands need an escape: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/woman_married_to_fat_emotionally

Lest you think women are the only maudlin creatures out there to get worked up over ‘syrupy slop’, behold the appeal of James Cameron’s latest work, Avatar, which I thought bore a remarkable resemblance to Disney’s Pocahontas and Fern Gully: The Last Rain Forest, except with Smurfs and GI Joes and way better special effects. According to an article on CNN (found at http://edition.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/11/avatar.movie.blues/) Online Avatar forums are reporting over 1000 posts from people experiencing depression and suicidal thinking after seeing the film. What the heck???

Okay, I get it. Maybe that makes me a freak… but I totally understand. I go through withdrawals when my television series end (Pushing Daisies, Battle Star Galactica, Quantum Leap, etc…) It feels like I lost my dear friends and the world we shared. I get that way after watching all the clips from Final Fantasy video games or solving Myst – that was such a pretty place. I get sad every time I finish a Jane Austen novel even though I like the story’s conclusion. I hate the ending part of it – the same is true of the Harry Potter series and the LOTR films. It’s because I realize that it’s time to return to reality and face it with renewed strength and inspiration and I fear that it will be hard with nothing to look forward to.

Recently the 10th Doctor regenerated in the long running series Dr. Who. What the 11th Doctor will be like remains to be seen. I hope he is snarky and not ginger. I feel I lost another friend. Yet I like when the characters depart happily and the story ends with the Utopian sunset such as Rose and the new 10th Doctor on the beach (talk about sweet satisfaction.) The 10th Doctor did that for me, which is more than I can say about ‘Starbuck’ being some sort of weird half-baked angel. The BSG conclusion didn’t leave me with any warm fuzzies and I won’t be tuning in for any of the spin offs.

So why is too much escape bad for us? Easy – creating real relationships with other people is the key to happiness. We can’t spend our lives online or in books. Those characters offer us great examples of the best ideals we as humans can achieve, but we need to get out there and make our world more like the ones we long for. The most enduring forms of fantasy stories all involve the struggle to become perfect and protect that which is pure, the triumph of good over evil and true love over bigotry. So go out there and earn your right to say as my dear friend Bilbo Baggins, "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure!" and when you do I will reply with an enthusiastic, "Allons-y!!!" (which for those who don't know means "Let's go!")

Let's Review: Year in Review

On the Jukebox: "Ladies Choice" by Zac Efron
Quote: "Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic." ~ Bewitched
Flair: Endorsement

In Let's Review I give my opinion of books, movies, food, clothing, and what have you. To start off the year I thought it might be nice to have a recap of some things I liked best in 2009. Please note that the items listed may not have debuted in 2009, but that's when I experienced them.

Flathau's Shortbread Cookies - I specifically love the Key Lime Snaps but if citrus isn't your thing try the raspberry, peppermint, butterscotch, or cinnamon snaps. Think Mexican Wedding cookies - a melt in your mouth-yet crisp, shortbread cookie blanketed in powdery sugar with a surprise 'Snap' of sweetness inside. There are tiny bits of candy in the sugary coating that add to the delight. I get mine at places like Ross, Home Goods, or TJ Maxx at about half the price as you might find in fancy grocery stores.

Books - I love to read and have broken this down into a pick for fiction and another for nonfiction. My fiction pick is "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel and nonfiction pick is "Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" by Malcolm Gladwell. I'll probably review these individually in another episode of Let's Review.

Music - Again I like categories. I've got Classical, Adult Contemporary, and Pop. In Classical I'm going with Andrea Bocelli's Amore. I especially like his version of "Besame Mucho." For Adult Contemporary Sissel Kyrkjebø's Gift of Love is wonderful. Her version of "Calling You" is hands down the greatest I've ever heard. For Pop I choose Owl City. This young man is making his way into mainstream music with his song "Fireflies" but it's "Vanilla Twilight" on the same album Ocean City that I like best.

Movies - I didn't see very many movies this year and nearly all of them would be in my thumbs down list. The one that really stands out as being worth owning is "The Blindside", which is interesting because I saw all 3 of Sandra's movies this year and it's the only one that wasn't a romcom. "Up" was good but I'm not into owning it. I'll probably be adding the latest installment of "Harry Potter" to the collection.

Television Shows - Wow this year sort of sucked! I actually gave up watching a lot of shows that I used to faithfully follow. No more "Heroes" or "Ghost Whisperer" for me (talk about jumping the shark!) On the other hand I found 3 new gems to be excited about. "Castle", "The Dish", and "Drop Dead Diva" - reviews on those to come later!

Smell - "Sand and Surf" Yankee Candle car freshener smells just like my memories of the beach. The salty air, the overpowering scent of suntan lotion, and the hint of cinnamon sugar churros. Instant summer in winter.

Dish - It depends on what you're in the mood for. I love the "Orange Blossom Beef" at the Joyful House. That's a Las Vegas Chinese place. If you're looking for something a bit more accessible maybe you'll agree that the "Lobster Ravioli" at Romano's Macaroni Grill is yumm-oh! It's a simple dish of lobster-filled pasta sauteed with a delicate cream sauce topped with tender lobster meat and fresh oregano.

Product - Due to being a diabetic I'm always too dry. Add the desert climate to the equation and I have to use eye drops, lip balm, and lotion like crazy. I should buy them in vats from Costco. My mom introduced me to Aveeno's Daily Moisturizing Lotion - and I'm surprised at how well it works. It costs a lot less than my Mary Kay stuff and seems to be doing the job. I'm not itchy or smelly (I hate certain fragrances because they don't layer well.)

Website - Attention Latter-day Saint readers, if you have to sell or buy a home it's worth your time to check out LDSagents.com. In the past we've used other agencies (with no complaints)to manage this task. Looking for a new home in Las Vegas was a bit daunting. I wanted someone who knew where all the church buildings were as well as what the neighborhoods were like. The service is free. I filled out the form and had an agent and a broker within minutes. Working with Darren and Brandon has been great. Especially, since they get that 10% of our before tax income is going towards tithing and shouldn't be calculated into how much house we can afford.