Time Out

On the Jukebox: "A Deeper Shade of Blue" by Steps
Mood: Exhausted
Quote: "It's OVER!!!" ~ Strongbad
Flair: Easy Button

What an exhausting day! I got only 3 hours of sleep last night and was pretty much running on empty. By the time I got home from the Women's Conference I was ready to collapse. Unfortunately it was too late to take a nap or I'd sleep right through bedtime and wake up in the middle of the night. Instead I forced myself to do some housework until Grant got home from his AF Reserve weekend and then we watched some of the TV shows we DVRd during the week. It felt so good to zone out but I couldn't get over the feeling that I should be doing something.

Have you ever had that annoying feeling that you have forgotten to do something important? It seems to be happening to me more and more often lately. I am so distracted I can't function in the real world. I've decided that I need a time out so I've decided that all of next week I will take it easy and only do what I have to do - starting with cleaning the bathrooms and catching up on laundry. I will take a few days off from writing ED 2:3 to organize my thoughts. I really should balance the checkbook and put away all the stuff that I dragged out for my displays. Yep, I think I'll go do that now so that I can enjoy a week off. St. Thomas sounds pretty good about now!

GIRL (friend) POWER

On the Jukebox: "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls
Mood: Excited/Nervous
Quote: "I get by with a little help from my friends" ~ The Beatles
Flair: Grrlfriends

Today I'm feeling sort of sentimental. To say the least, it's been an interesting week. My 'first born fictional daughter' just got married and I'm feeling a wee bit old. If that weren't enough I was contacted by an old friend JCC on Facebook. She called me by a name I haven't heard in 23 year and I hardly remember the person I was that she knew. I doubt she would recognize me now that I've emerged from my cocoon.

I owe my emergence as a bright winged creature to a special group of people who helped me get from there to here: my girlfriends. I hate to name names because I will end up leaving too many people out and I don't want to hurt feelings... so I'll just give a few examples to illustrate my point.

First there was Holly, a scholarly and elegant muse. She didn't try to change me from the caterpillar I was because she already saw what I would become. She tried to hold the mirror up and make me see it too. She encouraged me to continue my daydreaming ways and to work on my creative writing skills.

She moved away and I went into my cocoon. I was shy and awkward and afraid to use my voice. It was painful to transform myself and break free of the cocoon. I managed to do so when I moved and was forced to start over making new friends.

Enter Debbie, a bright eyed and unbiased optimist who once said to me, "You know how to do everything!" She may have said it in a joking admiring tone but it stuck with me. It made a difference to have a friend who had confidence in me when I had my doubts.

Fast forward about another 20 years and you get to where I am now. Most of the time I'm poised with a good balance of self assurance and humility. I have the occasional wobble which causes me to nearly spiral into the vortex of egotism or an inferiority complex. Lately I feel I'm standing precariously close to the edge. I'm grateful for the friends that hold my pedestal still - granted it's more like a foot stool than a column, but it's I wouldn't want to fall off of it. When my wings dry I plan to fly!

This special group of a dozen friends I'm going to collectively call my 'Fan Club' because I've allowed them to test read my Ethereal Dreamer series. Each woman has played a significant role in supporting me in various ways, but since we often get together it's easier if I acknowledge them as a unit. I adore these ladies because like Holly and Debbie (and countless others before and since) they recognize the best in me and encourage me to keep going when I feel tired and uninspired.

Last week a trio of said fan club members invited me to dinner to discuss the latest installment in the ED series. Their enthusiasm for the 200 page sample was overwhelming. I like my book, but I still find it strange when other people do, even weirder when they love it. Each of these ladies has a distinctly different personality and style, so it's sort of neat to see that the story has universal appeal. Later a couple other members of the fan club dropped by to see if I had the next section finished. The group is hungry for more and are helping propel my creativity. They also buoy my spirits against the ugliness of the publishing business.

I explained that I was having a hard time with meeting my own stringent writing deadlines because of other important demands on my time - like the Women's Conference I'm speaking at tomorrow. I confessed that I am very nervous and am afraid that I will make a fool of myself. I know my material and I can speak in public but I'm so distracted by the amount of ED material taking up my mental space that I feel unprepared to switch gears. These sweet friends reassured me with specific examples of prior triumphs that I will do fine tomorrow.

And then they went above and beyond...we're going to carpool tomorrow morning and they'll be my personal cheerleaders. Tonight we're going to have a pep rally. I'm going over to set up my visual display and a few of them are going to come along and help. They don't think their decorating advice is necessary but it helps to calm my nerves.

There is strength in numbers, but inner strength is even more powerful. Women are good at reflecting what's divine about one another and that's what true girl power is all about! Which brings me to my quote of the day from the Beatles song "With a Little Help From My Friends." These girlfriends wouldn't walk out on me if I sang out of tune (no, they would stay and laugh BUT they'd be there for me!) Besides they all know I can't sing. We should do some Spice Girl karaoke some night. Sing it with me:

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

I really wanna know what the heck 'zigazig ha' means! I don't think the Spice Girls are smart enough to know that it is a command for show dogs to strut, do you?

Award-Whining Journalism

On the Jukebox: "I Wish I Cared" by A-ha
Mood: Needs Improvement & Chocolate!
Quote: "Oh look everything's back to normal. Now what?" ~ Lost
Flair: What I'm Selling

NEWS FLASH: I've officially reached the half way point in the Ethereal Dreamer (ED) Trilogy. WOOT!!! If all goes well I may regain my sanity and establish healthy sleeping patterns by Christmas. One of my uber fans asked me what my next writing project will be. I laughed. I think it's time I recycle some of my shorter stories and stay away from long, complicated, supernatural sagas. I've got several Blogs that need overhaulin' - now that's some journalism worth noticing...

I hope with ED, I will have resolved the various story lines satisfactory without going saccharine. I don't want to pull a Stephenie Meyer and 'jump the shark' - in my humble opinion Twilight would have been a much better series if she stuck to her original idea. There was money to be made and she caved to the pressure of the agents and publishers. Then they didn't pull the reigns in on her to stop her from ending it so badly. What an anti climatic disappointment. Awck! Let me be clear - if killing Jerusha or Simon is what it takes to keep my artistic integrity - then by golly gumdrops that's what I'll do!

There is one thing that concerns me: the curse of overnight success. Look what it did to Margaret Mitchell. She felt she could never top the popularity of Gone With the Wind so she was afraid to even try. I do not want to be a one hit wonder, but nor do I wish to crank out drivel. What's a gal to do? I guess I should have a chat with J.K. and see what she's up to. I hear that pseudonyms are a good way to go. At least I know if all else fails, I can be the next Anita Stansfield, ummm... thank you?

Writer's Cramp

On the Jukebox: "Steppin' Out" by Joe Jackson
Mood: Meh
Quote:"Be like the bird, that pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings." Victor Hugo
Flair: Like it or Not...

Today I woke up with a bad case of Writer's cramp. That's when my brain is so full of information there is no way that my fingers can keep up with the speed of my thoughts. I am eager to start the information dump so that I can rest my poor arthritic joints. I don't think my fingers are supposed to make more noise than the keyboard. Maybe it would help if I did some sort of warm up exercises or wore my fingerless gloves more often. They are cold and not cooperating as well I would like. Today I vow to get ED:Double Deuce completed. I'm excited to write the final two chapters of this section because readers have been waiting for this plot point for over 1000 pages now. I've been waiting since day one of my writing to get here which will mark the half way point of the entire trilogy. Well... on with the show!

Wisdom AND Order

On the Jukebox: "Libby" by Carly Simon
Mood: About the same...
Quote: "You just had one of those 'I glued a bird to my head' days." ~ Forget Paris
Flair: Work to Do

Universal truth #87 Things should be done in wisdom and order.

Have you ever tried to do things out of order? It doesn't work well. I'm not saying that it's impossible. I've managed to put my pants on after putting on my shoes. It took a lot more effort and wasn't nearly as efficient as I hoped it would be. It would have been better to take off my shoes, then put on my pants, then put my shoes back on - but I was in a hurry and thought it was a brilliant idea.

Life is like that sometimes. We get in such a hurry that it seems like a good idea to take shortcuts in order to catch up on work or make time to accomplish the things we need to do. I'm all for efficiency, but it requires common sense too. The phrase work smarter not harder comes to mind. It is possible to multi task, but often because we are so busy doing so much nothing really gets accomplished.

Yes, we can run a load of laundry, brown some ground beef for dinner, and load the dish washer while we are waiting on hold with the insurance company - that's efficient multi tasking. Then there's the kind that makes it worse - the "dump everything from the kitchen counter into a pile of the family room floor to be sorted into new piles while you catch up on taped episodes of NCIS and Monk" kind of multi tasking. Let me tell you, that pile does get sorted but it would have been more efficient to throw half the stuff away the day it arrived in the mail. So what if you save 18 minutes per episode because you fast forwarded through the commericals? You should have been walking on your treadmill while watching TV. That's where wisdom comes into the equation.

It is wise to wear both pants and shoes. It is wise to be efficient. It is wise to do things in the correct order. It is wise to finish Book 2 before starting Book 3. You get the idea, right? Take time to think things through before acting. For example, it's probably a good idea to have a job before deciding to pack up and move someplace or start the rumor mill in the neighborhood. Just a thought... call me crazy, but I don't recommend frosting a cake before you bake it either!

Cosmic Mulligan

On the Jukebox: "Ready to Take a Chance Again" by Barry Manilow
Mood: Can I have a do-over?
Quote: "Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring."
Flair: Don't Drive Angry!

Mulligan: a second chance; in a game, happens when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action. An unpenalized chance to re-take a stroke that went awry.

I remember seeing the movie "Groundhog Day" in the theater the year it came out. It's one of my all time favorite movies. It made we wish for two things simultaneously. The first was that I could have a magical 6 weeks to learn the piano or a foreign language or whatever without having to worry about daily responsibilities. The second was for an annual cosmic mulligan every February 2nd. Basically, you would get a free do-over of whatever idiotic thing you did in the past year.

I'm not exactly sure what I would do over each year, but I'm sure there'd be something. Maybe it would be something little like forgetting to check to make sure I was hitting the 'forward' button instead of the 'reply' to button before making some snarky comment on an email. Doh! (yes, I've actually done that one with a former boss but she thought it was funny.) or maybe it would be packing lighter so my luggage doesn't get fined or remembering to get my car serviced before the transmission goes. You get the idea...

Everyone has some sort of regret that they wish they could remedy. Wouldn't a cosmic mulligan be a good solution?

A Woman's Heart

On the Jukebox: "A Woman's Heart" by Jenny Jordan Frogley
Mood: Tenderhearted
Quote: "Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad Snow!"
Flair: Lofty Goals

Today was the annual Visiting Teaching appreciation night. It was really a wonderful evening filled with the spirit. I enjoyed the talks and the reminder of how no matter how different we are in our diversities as women, we have more in common because of our love for the Savior and role in the kingdom. I wanted to laugh when Rachael's solo made everyone cry because I was pleased to know I wasn't the only boob there. It was a very tender moment. I am grateful for the inspired organization of the Relief Society and for visiting teachers who are in tune with the needs of their sisters. Just a little note of appreciation for that special nurturing gift that belongs to women.

A Woman’s Heart (lyrics)

Morning comes and finds her on her knees
The Spirit speaks and she is listening
She offers everything her soul can give
To make a difference through the life she lives
Her faith holds her family close
She understands what matters most
Her gentle touch is where love starts
That’s the way of a woman’s heart

She’s the keeper of the vision
She’s a beacon in the night
A teacher and defender of the truth
And everything she touches
Bears the traces of her light
She’s faithful to
What God Himself would do

She’s a friend to the lonely and the lost
Every day another bridge to cross
Her hands of mercy know the healer’s art
That’s the way of a woman’s heart

Evening comes and finds her on her knees
She speaks and He is listening
With sweet assurance that she’s done her part
She weeps in His peace
And that’s the way of a woman’s heart