Sneak Peek #1

On the Jukebox: "Englishman in New York" by Sting
Quote: "Okay, that's it! No more using my butt for practice kicks!" ~ Sailor Moon
Flair: Royalty

It's time for a sneak peek of one of my works in progress. Here's the first page of my memoirs part 1: Writer of Wrongs: Dork Queen Rising

Everyone’s had a Raymond Brown in his or her life; that one perpetually socially backward guy who’s so clueless that it’s pathetic. You know the type: genuinely friendly but cloyingly over eager. The sort that in order to feel accepted, all too easily becomes a door mat for others to unappreciatively wipe their muddy feet on. The kind that like a stray dog laps up the crumbs of your charity and once he detects true kindness makes you regret any magnanimous act. And to that end in each life there is always a girl like Kelly Snow.

The universe is filled with duality and Kelly Snow is one of those ambiguous anomalies – simultaneously complementary and the polar opposite to Raymond Brown. Some might say she was his female equivalent while others would argue that she was his kryptonite. It’s all in whom you ask and when they might have known the enigmatic Kelly Snow. The truth is once a long time ago Kelly annihilated poor Raymond… but more on that later. Fortunately, like other forms of life that some might deem lower he came back stronger for the experience. Yes, Raymond Brown was a lot like a cockroach that survives a nuclear holocaust; Kelly Snow… not so much.

Kelly Snow was gifted a homogeneous name equally suited to being the peppy captain of the cheer squad or the cerebral captain of the chess team. Either way it had leadership potential yet this particular Kelly was neither outgoing nor exceptionally brainy. There were some who would describe her as a bookish and introverted pantywaist while there were others who might describe her as capricious with an audacious sense of humor. Most people would say she was nondescript, born to be a background actor in the lives of more exciting people. Be that as it may this Kelly Snow was a natural born leader; she just didn’t have many followers in her early years.

In fact her parents had reinforced this idea so strongly that it led to more than a few unpleasant incidents. Kelly was a first born child and only daughter, oldest of five siblings, a princess ruling over four younger brothers in the style of a true benevolent dictator. Her father called her his little princess and her mother gave her the name of a great queen in a famous piece of literature, which Kelly strived to live up to… but more on that later.

Potty Box Humor

On the Jukebox: "The Love Cats" by The Cure
Quote: "You know... like when you pee in the cat box how it stings your eyes." ~ Haven Snow, 1995
Flair: #2

I used to cringe when my friends would refer to their offspring as ‘little poops’ or other more colorful excrement-related words. Why would anyone bestow such an awful title on the very beings they loved the most? Fast forward a few decades and I’m finally beginning to understand although I didn’t push my ‘children’ out of any of my orifices. Ironically my fur babies were born in a litter and that’s what I associate with them. I’m often quoted as saying I got the pick of the litter box and I picked the crappiest cats ever! Grant calls them poop monsters.

It’s not so much that we got terrible cats. They’re not bad for being self-absorbed creatures who are used to being waited on hand and foot. That can’t be blamed on them since they descend from felines that were worshipped as deity in Egypt. When that is taken into consideration, my cats are incredibly self-sufficient. I think the problem is that we’ve had a long line of bad litter boxes and related products. No matter how hard we try or what litter products we experiment with the substance gets tracked out of the box and into other places where we definitely don’t want it. We’ve used Astroturf mats, boxes, ramps, and have even put the litter box in the basement so that the cats would have to climb up 26 stairs before arriving at the master bedroom.

All to no avail – I am still the princess and the pea gravel. I can’t sleep because even with fluffy feather pillows, satin sheets, and a silky nightgown I can still feel that miniscule piece of clay that managed to make it in between the sheets. It’s become one of my nightly rituals to pull back the sheets and brush them off before climbing in. I bet I empty close to 35 pounds of litter out of the vacuum cleaner every year.

What’s a girl to do? I’ll tell you what she’s not going to do… clean the litter box. Yep, that’s a pretty sweet scam that pregnant women got their doctors to pull. Since we’ve been trying to have kids for years Grant took over panning for cat turds long ago. Of course, he gets plenty of breaks when he runs off to play war in places like Iraq. Nothing says romance like a self-cleaning litter box. That’s what he got me for our 8th anniversary right before he took off for Honduras. It worked pretty well until we added the third cat.

Much like people, our cats have their own potty preferences. Some people get in and get out as fast as they can – usually on commercial breaks. Others like to take reading material into the library. My Sari-cat likes to dig, dig, dig to China and then do her thing. She also comes back and buries anybody’s business that wasn’t covered to her satisfaction. Flora is usually the guilty one when it comes to leaving things exposed. Tamsin was great until she reached old age. Now she tends to hang her tail too far over the box so that she’s standing in it and peeing on the corners. It clogs up the works for the automatic box and we have to come scrap it all out. I’m to the point of training them to use the people bathroom like Mr. Jinx in “Meet the Parents” except I’d be afraid of them not flushing. It’s always something! Meanwhile, I'm open to any suggestions that don't include killing or dismissing the poop monsters.

'A' is for Antidisestablishmentarianism...

On the Jukebox: "Kinder Words" by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Quote: "One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." ~ James Earl Jones
Flair: Word up yo!

Did you ever read those books as children that start with ‘A’ is for apple; ‘B’ is for boy…? I see those types of books everywhere and can’t understand why they’re so popular. I mean there’s no plot whatsoever! Are they supposed to be vocabulary builders? If so, then maybe they should have an entire series that offer different grade levels. By the time a child is reading on a third grade level it would be ‘A’ is for applesauce; ‘B’ is for boyfriend… and once a reader reaches the junior high school level it would be ‘A’ is for appaloosa; ‘B’ is for boycott. Naturally the college level it would be designed for spelling bee champions with such gems as ‘A’ is for amaranthine, abyssopelagic, and aischrolatry; ‘B’ is for batraquomancy, bahuvrihi, and balbutient.

Do people even study the meaning of words anymore? I know they can’t spell. Even the word misspell is commonly misspelled. I’m guilty too. I love words but spell-check has made me lazy. Now that we’re a nation of texters and instant-messengers, our grammar and vocabulary skills are practically nil. I’ve read a few articles on how even most English teachers don’t use proper language. President Bush used to make up words and because they were absorbed into the pop culture meme they sound correct. I still think ‘strategery’ is a real word. But that’s okay because I hear people say ‘athleticism’ all the time and that’s not really a word either.

We’ve also gotten into the habit of combining words and phrases to create new words. Example: Our language is pathetic and sad… it’s pathetisad. However, I don’t really blame society for becoming lax in both vocabulary and spelling. No, on the contrary I blame the wordsmiths that brought us such gems as'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.' It’s the fear of long words and it is a whopping 36 letters long. They should have made it shorter if they wanted anyone to remember it – let alone try to spell it.

Doogie's Downfall

On the Jukebox: "Remember to Breathe" by Dashboard Confessional
Quote: "I really need to be more careful what I say on this blog." ~ Dr. Horrible
Flair: Sing-Along Blog

Let's get one thing straight: I was never a “Doogie Howser, M.D.” fan. It debuted the year I graduated high school so I was into more evolved shows like “The Wonder Years.” The premise of the Doogie Howser series seemed weak. First of all, if you start practicing medicine at the tender age of 16 maybe you can get people to call you Douglas instead of Doogie – did his patients ever take him seriously with a dumb name like that? I liked that the Boy Wonder kept a journal even if it was cheesy and cryptic. This just proves that he was not the genius that everyone thought he was. Why? Because when he’s an old geezer and reads back over his glory days he’s not going to have a clue what he was talking about.

I know because below is the journal that is full of sound and fury and signifying nothing that I kept for 2 ½ years. Case in point: I barely have a clue what I’m talking about and it’s only been 2 years since my last entry. I recall falling out a moving vehicle on the day we moved from Roy to Layton and some other antics that are alluded to but not detailed. Socrates wrote, "An unexamined life is not worth living." If your life was worth living (and thus examining) shouldn't also be worth remembering and learning from?

What I’m trying to say is learn from me and Doogie. Keeping a journal is a great idea but being clear is also important. It’s one of the reasons why I decided to start blogging on a regular bases – little bits of my normal everyday life leak into my posts and there’s a hefty dose of my personality so I’m pretty sure people can get a good picture of who I am.

Entry for January 2006
Today my doctor gave me the death sentence that may just save my life. Not to be corny, but I am gaining new insight into that saying 'live like you were dying.' It is something I plan to do. I have chosen a simple epitaph that I would like to live up to: a Queen for All Seasons. I'll talk more about that later. Here's to the start of a new journey...'

Entry for Feb 2006
Life goes on. Maybe not as we might have originally hoped or dreamed it would, but often in a better more meaningful way. I am nearing the end of a journey. One that has taken many years. I am eager to reach my destination, but also treasure the experiences I have encountered on my present course.

Entry for March 2006
Today I reached a decision which will impact greatly on my happiness. I need to move forward with my plans and not let naysayers voice either their opinions or concerns. As Billy Joel once said, "They can speak their mind, but not on my time." I am at peace with my choice and am convinced it will add greatly to my personal satisfaction.

Entry for April 2006
Gone with the wind...
As I look back on my time at Sojourn at Three Peaks (S3P) I can see just how far I have come. I am excited about the possibilities that my new home will provide. Who will I become there? I pray that it is the best version of myself to date. S3P was good to me and it was a charming starter home which never fit my needs. I outgrew the people and the place before I even moved in and yet it was a good practice for my new home (which is still in need of a name.)
Today is my first day in my new life. I am ready to step over the edge into the great unknown of my soul. I am armed now with lessons gleaned from the journey, a new appreciation for life, and a greater sense of God's care. Life is sweet and I am ready to reap what comes.

Entry for May 2006
I am making a rapid recovery from my recent injuries - how foolish to fall twice! I worried that my medical condition would cause more issues but am so grateful that all is going well. I have been able to hide this information from my new friends and neighbors. It is refreshing to be around caring people who have no preconceived notions as to what I can and can't do.
I am happy to report that I am well on my way to being my most authentic self. I am so pleased that I have not uttered unkind words of judgment regarding anyone in my new home. I have showed only the sides of myself that I want to develop more fully. I am trying to be as charitable and Christ like as possible.

Entry for June 2006
Oh Happy Day!
We had a small family gathering here in honor of my parent's visit from California and Father's Day. It brought me great joy to have a house full of people I love. It has been hard to be patient waiting for this large home to be filled with more than the two of us and the cats. I know the time will come when it will be bursting from the seams with love and laughter at all times. I am eager for that time, but know good things come to those who wait. My patience has rewarded me time and again with things beyond what I had hoped for. It is the most wonderful of teachers and time will flow by at a steady pace.

Entry for July 2006
Wedded Bliss
Sixteen years of it now... if you can believe it. For my soul mate and eternal companion I am most grateful. His ways are gentle and endearing. His words are filled with kindness and his touch is always tender. I will always appreciate the way he looks at me as though no other woman could ever be more desirable. I love his deep belly laughs, his slightly askew sense of humor, and most of all how he never lets go of my hand. I am so happy that true love will never end and that he and I will always be together forever.

Entry for August 2006
I still have not named my new home but it is beginning to feel like my final destination. We have remodeled and made it our own. It has new stainless steel appliances, new family room carpet, and new light fixtures. I also fauxed a few walls.

Entry for September 2006
Plans for Christmas Revelries are in full swing. I’m calling the project “Big Big Christmas” and I so excited about hosting a special family reunion. What a great excuse to furnish another guest bedroom or two. I’m glad the family suggested the idea when they were here in June. It’s nice to have something good to look forward to. I have been feeling very ill lately. I almost passed out at work. I’m worried. My doctor keeps running tests and taking blood samples every few weeks.

Entry for October 2006
The air is starting to turn crisp and have a slight chill in the mornings. Fall is my favorite time of year. I don't think we will have the much longed for and joked about Sweetest Day wedding this year but I'm sure that the weekend will be beautiful none the less. And I’m sure the girls in my office will have lovely weddings when they find their true loves.

Entry for November 2006
Another November has arrived and already I am counting the many things for which I am truly thankful. I have been blessed beyond measure. In reviewing the many ways that the Lord has provided for my needs I have finally decided on a name for my new home: Pietà Tenere or 'Tender Mercies.'

Entry for December 2006
A full home and a full heart. What more can I ask? We have been having the most wonderful time together at our big family reunion. We finally had the first professional pictures of the big family taken in over 17 years. So many new faces, so many new souls to love. My favorite part of this whole experience was our family home evening on Christmas night. The theme was 'Always Remember' taken from the sacrament prayer and it was a reminder that we should have the true gift of Christmas in our hearts every day of our lives. My heart is full to bursting and if it’s my last Christmas with my family I’m glad it was full of love and testimony.

Entry for January 5, 2007
Hooray for fresh starts. Here I am at the beginning of not only another calendar year but another year in my own life. Normally I would bemoan another birthday as making me older but now I have developed a better appreciation of how sweet a gift life is. I am not too distracted by the hint of crow's feet and the few gray hairs that insist on staying... maybe wisdom will come with them. I am so grateful that my doctor was able to rule out cancer. That’s been weighing on my mind these past few months. I’m still scared by what medical prognosis I’m facing but I know it will be all right. God is with me. As for birthday related news - Grant made a half and half cake this year. Does that mean I only age half as much?

Entry for February 2007
What a cold and rainy month this has been! It is funny to me how much snow we have had this month and when our visiting nieces and nephews would have longed for it when they were here at Christmas. When I see a fresh dusting with no foot prints I wish they were here to make those snow angels for me. It seems appropriate since they are my sweet angels and my brother’s children which makes them true ‘Snow Angels’!

Entry for March 2007
There is light at the end of the tunnel. My husband is nearing the end of his dual major. Just one more class to go. I hope I can hold onto my sanity and hold my tongue. It’s getting hard to go to work in the morning with a smile on my face. I want my freedom and don’t know how much more I can take of these new policies and silly micromanagement.

Entry for April 2007
Are we there yet? My husband's class has been postponed so many times that it is hard to believe that now he is almost finished with it. This will open up so many more possibilities to both of us. The radiation treatment went well. I hope it works.

Entry for May 2007
We just returned from a wonderful and much needed vacation in Mexico. We swam with dolphins, climbed pyramids, did a jungle and snorkeling tour, and enjoyed the beautiful waters. I feel so revitalized and we received an interesting proposal that we’re giving serious thought.

Entry for June 2007
Start the countdown. I have made another big decision. I have given notice at my 'day' job. I have been presented with several other opportunities recently. I can manage my friend’s boutique or stay at home and work for myself in one of several capacities. It’s wonderful to have choices. Hooray for agency.

Entry for July 2007
Shh, it's a secret. We're expanding our family and it’s not another cat. I can’t believe this adoption is actually going to work out but it’s looking good. We’ve even ordered new nursery furniture
17 years of wedded bliss. Hooray!

Entry for August 2007
Grant’s parents and brother Jordan came for a visit. We weren’t able to present our son Darris Breckan to them. He decided to stay with his birth parents. We’re happy for them. I was a little scared to be alone with a newborn while Grant is gone. We were fortunate to get a full refund on our nursery furnishings. I’m keeping my baby shower gifts.

Entry for September 2007
There is an ocean between us. My love is in Iraq with the Air Force. God Speed.

Entry for October 2007
Our long awaited pregnancy was short lived due to complications from the radiation treatments I had earlier this year. I have to have another surgery. I'm very grateful for the Lord's tender mercies and know all will be well. I don't know where this strength is coming from. I want to be in Grant's arms and sob. It was a surprise to discover that I had been pregnant since July. I only told my parents and my best friend so I’m grateful I don’t have to explain it over and over again. My little ‘Stardust’ will wait for me in Heaven.

Entry for November 2007
Made a speedy recovery. Decided to do most of my recouping in Santa Maria with family. Read the Twilight books and thought they ‘sucked’ and I can do better. Jay challenged me to put my money where my mouth is. My mouth is big enough so I think I will.

Entry for December 2007
Have kept myself very busy. Managed to crank out first 100 pages of Work in Progress in just under two weeks. If I keep my pace up I should have an estimated 500 pages done of the first draft by beginning of the year. The research took longer than I anticipated but has yielded a great deal of subplot possibilities. It feels good to create life even if it’s only on paper. It will be interesting to watch my ‘children’ grow. Went back to Santa Maria for Christmas.

Entry for January 2008
Have managed to catch every flu bug, virus, and bad break that is going around. Also managed to destroy my computer. I am hoping that Grant can recover the main hard drive. Meanwhile have bought a small replacement computer but have no plans to get too attached to it. Between computer issues and illness have made no progress with my writing. I’m so glad he’ll be home soon. PS: had a birthday that was again overlooked. llama llama duck!

Entry for February 2008
Still at it. Outlined a few chapters for Work in Progress. I should look into getting a part time job since Grant will be coming home from Iraq soon. Who knows how long it will take to get something published.

Entry for March 2008
Grant did not come home from Iraq yet (bummer.) I have managed to maintain a grip on reality despite being very disappointed. I have made great strides on Forks - about another 100 pages. Sometimes when talking with my friends about this book I refer to it as "the Great American Novel" or "Jane Austen in a Blender" I've done a good job at disguising what the book is really about. It should be a surprise when someone finally gets to read the finished draft.

Entry for April 2008
Not much new to report. I am still kicking around in this big house all on my own. We think now Grant might get to come home in June but I'm not going to hold my breath. The situation is pretty bleak but I feel great peace. I'm going to make the best use of this time off of work (while his war pay is taking care of our bills.) I'm now another 100 pages into Forks. It is starting to amaze me how good the story is becoming for something that I originally labeled 'My throat clearing, knuckle cracking, warming up, throw-away book.'

Entry for May 2008
Well here it is May and no big surprise, still no Grant. His orders have been extended so maybe next month. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. On the plus side I am now 445 pages into Forks which will probably be a 550 page book. I'm writing as much as possible in hopes of having a finished draft completed before Grant gets home. The book got another nickname, "Four weddings and One Hundred Funerals" so I'm sure my friends will be surprised when they actually read it. One of my friends recently guessed a major plot twist based on the Jane Austen in a blender conversation but I hope my startled expression didn't confirm it for her. It should be shocking when people discover the how bizarre the love triangle really is! My goal is get this thing done in the next few weeks so I can get some feedback and get to the rewrites. The only people who have seen anything are my in-laws who I gave the first 100 pages to at Christmas to prove I was working on the goal we discussed. Their comment was, "When is it going to get funny?" Apparently I am such a smart a$$ that everything I say or write should sound like me. This book is more of a sci-fi fantasy romance thriller type thing so I can't say it will get much funnier until like the 18th draft. Sorry folks!

Meme Monday

On the Jukebox: "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy" by Stinky Wizzletreats
Quote: "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us." ~ Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina 2007
Flair: Meme Dream Theme

Think fast! What do Chuck Norris, Bill Gates, and the Star Wars Kid have in common with the Hamster Dance? No idea? What about Evil Bert, Jib Jab, and Cake Wrecks? Well, in case you’ve been living in a cave or under a rock (I’m talking to you Osama), you are probably aware to some extent of this little thing called the Internet and its power to disseminate information at the speed of light. How often have you been asked to forward an email chain letter for Mr. Gates or received the email filled with the world’s cutest puppy pictures? Ever notice how you get the same email or hyperlink within a few days of each other? Is it a plot to influence the way America feels about politics, shopping, and fabric softener? You’d better believe it!

My inbox is constantly under siege by people who want me to take easily manipulated quizzes on what famous actress I am most like, which fruit represents me, and other weird personality indicators. Oh and don’t get me started on the glurge! I detest glurge for its ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ wannabe preachy triteness. Double bleh! As a Facebook user I get tagged on a regular basis to fill out forms on what’s on my MP3 player, what I ate for breakfast, or who I last texted - you know I’ve been replaced by an alien clone if I ever text anyone.

All these things are a form of memes (rhymes with dreams.) I’ve decided to dedicate Mondays to all thing Meme-related. I’ll post my creative answers to popular meme type quizzes and links to ridiculous but funny videos such as “Charlie Bit Me” or photos on “Totally Looks Like” and such. By now you probably know what a fan of Wikipedia I am so let me just give credit where it’s due. Here’s what they have to say about Internet Memes.

“The term Internet meme is a phrase used to describe a catchphrase or concept that spreads quickly from person to person via the Internet, much like an esoteric inside joke. At its most basic, an Internet meme is simply the propagation of a digital file or hyperlink from one person to others using methods available through the Internet (for example, email, blogs, social networking sites, instant messaging, etc). The content often consists of a saying or joke, a rumor, an altered or original image, a complete website, a video clip or animation, or an offbeat news story, among many other possibilities. An Internet meme may stay the same or may evolve over time, by chance or through commentary, imitations, and parody versions, or even by collecting news accounts about itself. Internet memes have a tendency to evolve and spread extremely quickly, sometimes going in and out of popularity in just days. They are spread organically, voluntarily, and peer to peer, rather than by compulsion, predetermined path, or completely automated means.

The term may refer to the content that spreads from user to user, the idea behind the content, or the phenomenon of its spread. Internet memes have been seen as a form of art. There exist websites that collect and popularize Internet memes as well as sites devoted to the spread of specific Internet memes. The term is generally not applied to content or web services that are seen as legitimate, useful, and non-faddish, or that spread through organized publishing and distribution channels. Thus, serious news stories, videogames, web services, songs by established musical groups, or the like are usually not called Internet memes. Often Internet memes include references to current items of pop culture, such as popular movies, celebrities or news. Some examples of this are Examples include Rickrolling, lolcats, Keyboard Cat, "All your base are belong to us", the Chuck Norris facts, or the "Sparta!" meme, quoting (or 'referencing') popular lines.”

Just think now you have a reason to look forward to Mondays but I caution you not to let it interfere with your work. Check out my blog on your breaks and be sure to send me your suggestions for Meme Mondays. Oh and one more thing, “Leave Britney alone!”

A Pearl of Wisdom

On the Jukebox: "All Good Things" by Sissel
Quote: "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all." ~ Emily Dickinson
Flair: A Gift of the Spirit


I’ve been on a Charles Dickens kick lately. Perhaps it was because he too was a writer who did serial installments in a newspaper column. I find his work inspiring on many levels but especially for his rhythmic prose, intricate plots, and life altering transformation of characters such as Ebenezer Scrooge. In one of his better known works, “A Tale of Two Cities” he wrote an opening line that even those who haven’t read it may recognize:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."

Was Charles Dickens speaking of his time or ours? Considering our modern marvels and better living conditions it appears at first glance as though 2010 has very little in common with Victorian England. Yet we are in a recession and many are out of work and worry about their family’s needs and what the future may bring. How timeless is the human condition of opposition! How wonderful and terrible it is to have duality in our lives. We must know the bitter to appreciate the sweet.

As a child I was taught that faith and doubt cannot dwell in the same place. So it is with hope and despair. Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness and peace. Hope is a gift of the spirit. The Apostle Paul speaks of the importance of faith, hope, and charity in our lives. My favorite Book of Mormon prophet Moroni was the last of his people yet he believed in hope, even after witnessing the complete destruction of his civilization.

Storms of opposition may surround us but the things we have hope in can sustain us. Even Jesus Christ, who was perfect, experienced discouragement and difficulty. These are the most powerful tools of the adversary. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught, “Hope in God, His goodness, and His power refreshes us with courage during difficult times. There may be times when we must make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope. Faith, hope, and charity complement each other, and as one increases, the others grow as well. These lead us to abound in good works and in peace and happiness.”

We are standing at the beginning of not only a new year but a new decade… one fresh and filled with hope. Remember when you feel discouraged, worried, or lonely to never give in. The winter of despair is over it’s time to embrace the spring of hope. For those who make New Year’s resolutions, resolve to have more hope. Take a bright outlook on things. The power of positive thinking will do wonders. Of that I am positive!

Welcome Back Blogger!

On the Jukebox: "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Meat Loaf
Quote: "Up your nose with a rubberhose!" Vinnie Barbarino
Flair: Mr. Kot-tair

Furlough is over and it’s time to get back to work. My first thought was to post the surplus of essays that were written for the past year, but really, the purpose of a blog is to journal your deep thoughts. I’d hate for anyone to miss out on all that brilliance and in all honestly how many people are going to go 279 posts back in the archives? It’s not likely to happen so I’ll just save them for rainy days… i.e. when I’m busy with other writing projects. I decided to do some overhauling of my column. Welcome to my Totally Awesome New Format. What you can’t see the difference? Fine, I’ll demonstrate some of the marvelous features. Be prepared to be amazed.

1) It still starts with an inspiring piece of flair, quote, and whatever random song is playing on my MP3 player*, all which illustrates the mysterious workings of my mind. They may or may not be connected to the topic of the day, but there is usually at least one unifying factor between the 3 items and my post. Good luck trying to figure it out.

2) New weekly and monthly essay themes such as ‘Meme Monday’, ‘Let’s Review’, ‘10 on the 10th’, ‘Deft Definitions’, ‘Rancorous Rants’, ‘Dear Blabby’, ‘Writer’s Block’, and ‘Thanks for Asking.’ Also some new flair themes. I'll be keeping my 'Spiritual Thought Sunday' but retiring a few other features.

3) 17% more snarky comments, same great taste. My taste was never in question!

4) Fewer entries but more substance. We can all do with less filler. I unabashedly admit that my Saturday entries were often done in a half-hearted way. Therefore I reserve the right to take all Saturdays (and any other days I see fit) off without apology. Be aware that I try to work the same days as my spouse who is on rotating shifts. Although I love doing this blog, I need to concentrate on areas of writing that will bring in money such as my Ethereal Dreamer series.

5) More cowbell… well that just goes without saying!

So there you have it. I’ll explain the new themes in the corresponding introductory posts. I’m looking forward to another fun year of sharing my thoughts with you. I want to thank my readers for their feedback and suggestions. Write on!

* Music selection may be chosen randomly by the Jukebox or randomly from a playlist created by a keyword search. It cuts down on how much Christmas music I have to listen to in my 250G collection.